Yogi bear never did Yoga

Yesterday I got in touch with my inner namaste and tried out the Total Woman yoga class. It was quite a feat for me to be up and ready to stretch and strain on a Saturday morning, but I joined the winding line of middle-aged women armed with my yoga mat and towel at a staggering 10 AM. The class was packed to the gills, to the point that the woman next to me rested her arm on top of mine during a stretch. It was a little awkward, made even more awkward by the time she said “Oh! You’re so soft!” ten seconds into our little stretchin’ space problem.

The class seemed both a little too slow and a little too advanced at the same time, if that makes sense. Half the class we were doing the “supine pigeon”, while the other half we were doing some crap called the rising sun cow leg or something. Half the class was twisted like lithe, spiralled rubber bands while the other half (the half I belonged to) sat stubbornly on their mats, just looking on as legs flew in the air, chests contorted, and arms flailed. I didn’t think it was a very good workout, and was relieved when we entered the resting portion of the class, in which the teacher asked us to loosen our groins and invite the sunshine into our souls.

I've totally mastered this move!

One other thing that really bugged me about the class was that there was NO music! No pan flute, no indian chants, no weird yogi yodeling… and it was a bummer. Trying to get to a zen state while listening to “I’m every woman” blare from the cardio room next door was a little rough. All of the other yoga classes I’ve taken always have some sort of nice melodic background music, so it was a little dull hearing just the instructions… an hour of “Press your heel into the floor. Release your pelvis. Open your groin up, allowing the energy to flow through your shoulders. Pulse your pelvis. Press your heels down. Curl your toes. Allow the zen to flow through your soul.”

Surprisingly, I’m sore as feck today. My wrists are like jelly, my arms are achin’, and my buttocks feel more like pummeled hamburger meat than juicy buns. So I guess my meh work-out actually worked. The next class I’m going to be trying is Impact Kickboxing… which requires my own pair of boxing gloves and involves punching a dummy for an hour. Now THAT sounds like just the type of thing I need for zen to flow through my soul :).

Which types of workouts work for you?


4 thoughts on “Yogi bear never did Yoga

  1. Very funny post! I have yet to be brave enough to try yoga but I did try pilates once. I can’t quite remember if I actually enjoyed it, must not have since I only went once.

    My favorite work-out has and probably always will be an awesome hike up a hill or a mountain with some nice stopping points along the way to enjoy the view. Too bad there has been numerous mountain lion sightings in some of the spots I would go to in Novato!

  2. Very funny post! I have yet to be brave enough to try yoga but I did try pilates once. I can’t quite remember if I actually enjoyed it, must not have since I only went once.

    My favorite work-out has and probably always will be an awesome hike up a hill or a mountain with some nice stopping points along the way to enjoy the view. Too bad there has been numerous mountain lion sightings in some of the spots I would go to in Novato!

  3. this post made me laught out very loudly! Loved it! Yoga is not totally my thing, I tried it for the first time a couple years ago and thought I might die. By the time I heaved myself off the floor to go to the next pose everyone else was getting back on the floor. To say the least it wasn’t pretty. Like April, I tried pilates and I LOVE IT!! Its more floor work and gives the muscle and body a great stretch. I recommend it! :)

    personally I don’t think you can go wrong with a cardio kickboxing class. Its a great way to shove in a work out and release some frustration. As far as yoga goes, I’ve learned to come to terms with it, it helps when you keep going and get more comfortable with it.

    lastly, when I can, I like to take my workouts – outside! a nice hike, walk or tennis

  4. this post made me laught out very loudly! Loved it! Yoga is not totally my thing, I tried it for the first time a couple years ago and thought I might die. By the time I heaved myself off the floor to go to the next pose everyone else was getting back on the floor. To say the least it wasn’t pretty. Like April, I tried pilates and I LOVE IT!! Its more floor work and gives the muscle and body a great stretch. I recommend it! :)

    personally I don’t think you can go wrong with a cardio kickboxing class. Its a great way to shove in a work out and release some frustration. As far as yoga goes, I’ve learned to come to terms with it, it helps when you keep going and get more comfortable with it.

    lastly, when I can, I like to take my workouts – outside! a nice hike, walk or tennis

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