UNREAL Sour Creme

Some of you know that my profession involves using words and grammar to convince people to buy things. (If I wanted to be “PC”, I’d say that I’m truly trying to create brand awareness, but the bottom line is, brand awareness still means we want people to buy things. So there) Given that my profession as a copywriter means I’m familiar with marketing speak, I thought I was a little less…. how do you say… gullible when it comes to packaging terms.

Tonight, I was preparing a favorite warm weather dish of mine – cucumber salad. It’s relatively low in calories and fairly simple to make, requiring few ingredients. First, peel two cucumbers and use a mandoline slicer to make them paper thin. Sprinkle them liberally with salt, and let them soak for about half an hour in just the salt.

Slice 'em nice and thin, like calorie-free potato chips...

After half an hour, make sure your hands are clean, and then get in there and SQUEEEEEZE the moisture out of those cucumbers. SQUUUUEEEEEEZEEEEEE! You want them mostly dry, otherwise you’ll feel like you’re drinking from the ocean.


Then, when all the cuke slices are squeezed and mostly dry, add one TBSP white vinegar and two big dollops of sour cream. Notice that I wrote sour cream and not sour creme. Cuz this? This is “UNREAL!!!” Sour “creme”. And you know what that means?

Anything wrong with this picture?

This is “unreal” sour cream. Like for realz. Sour creme.. that’s not sour cream. I took a bite while I was making this salad and something tasted… Off. And then I thought, well, it needs to be refrigerated so maybe that’s why. But then I thought, wait, this is the easiest recipe in the world and it tastes WRONG! I took another taste and thought, hmmm. Something’s wrong with this sour cream. And then I realized… No, it’s not low fat… but it says UNREAL! You don’t think… OH YES! It’s artificial sour cream.

I’m sorry, but when I want sour cream, I want REAL sour cream… in all of its fatty, sour glory. Hydrogenated soy bean oil? I don’t think so. Give me the stuff that comes from straight from the cow’s udder and congeals into a big, thick paste, cuz THAT’S what I want in my cucumber salad. Not a big glop of gluey white stuff. Unreal Sour Creme? I hate using this term because it’s now so overdone…. but this truly was an epic fail. That’ll teach a consumer goods copywriter to think she’s got the smarts to brave the grocery store. 😉

14 thoughts on “UNREAL Sour Creme

  1. That business people can make unhealthy products to save on materials and then use babble to get round the law (if there are any real laws on food anymore) is abhorrent. I often wonder if on their death beds do these ministers of evil have regrets?
    Wouldn’t you think that other business people around them would berate them for the wrong they are committing on children and other sentient beings?

  2. bought Yoders because I thought their phrase “unreal” meant extra good. Us d it in an easy dip I routinely make. The dip tasted bad. I checked the Yoders to see if it was out of date or reduced fat. It wasn’t. Ended up googling it and found this page. Had no idea “unreal” meant fake sour cream. Didn’t even notice it is called “sour creme” as it is not sour cream. I now notice it has trans fat as well. I don’t buy anything with trans fat. The labeling on Yoders sour creme is misleading.

  3. I bought the exact same thing, thinking it was just sour cream, noticed a funny & yucky taste after putting it on potatoes. Checked the date and it was ok. Thought I would look it up on line and found this page… story sound familiar? looks like im not the only one that fell for this fake stuff. I’m going to check twice next time….. this is what i get for being in a rush.

  4. I found this stuff today at the dollar tree. Not sour cream at all but also not bad stuff. Tastes pretty good as long as your taste buds arnt expecting real sour cream. Im not going to expect sour cream next time I buy this stuff but I would buy it again.

  5. I tried this product. An hour after I ate it I had a allergic reaction and a sour stomach. I tried it and dislike it. It has too many artificial ingredients and chemicals. I threw out almost the entire tub.Will never buy it again.

  6. So, I bought a stack of nicely packaged soybean curd, also known as tofu. Didn’t have much use for silken tofu. Found it can really make a decent enough sour cream substitute. This would be similar. It’s non dairy right? Every woman and less macho man thinks they’re lactose intolerant right?

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