Tag Archives: weight loss

I’m 28! Birthday Thoughts

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Hello! Today is the first time I’m writing to you as a 28 year old. Birthdays are weird as you get older, because as you get older they become less exciting and more like, “Oh, it’s my birthday.” This morning I completely forgot it even was my birthday until I opened Facebook on my phone after I pressed the “snooze” button. My adult responsibilities got in the way of me anticipating my birthday – I worked close to 50 hours last week, finished thesis changes, had house guests and doctor appointments. What a whirlwind! Needless to say, I had an amazing day today filled with delicious food (Hubby took me to Cheesecake Factory. Mmmm. We shared a piece of peanut butter cheesecake and half of it is sitting in our fridge softly singing “Alysssaaaaa. Alyssssssaaaaaa. Birthday calories don’t count.”), wonderful people and all of the warm, fuzzy feelings I get seeing so many of you wishing me a happy day. You’re all quite lovely!

In thinking about what I want 28 to be like, I want to claim my health. I’m fortunate that my blood pressure, cholesterol and glucose levels are fantastic, but this year I want to shed my excess weight and reveal the slimmer, slender Lyssa. I’m not going to put a number on how much I want to lose, because that sets me up for disappointment if I don’t make it, but I need to get closer. I’m in the process of doing some fact-finding that I’ll share more about later, but it might be a little clue as to why I’ve struggled so much the past few months. (For the last time… No, I’m not pregnant. Ha!)

Here are some health related things I want to do this year:

  • Run a 5k with April. We’ve been discussing doing a Double Chin Diary Sister Run, and I’m trying to figure out which 5k will be our first to hit up. Any suggestions?
  • Keep drinking water. Did y’all know I’ve been OFF DIET COKE for over a month now??!?!?! Unbelievable. The only thing I miss is the convenience of grabbing a cold coke when I want something different than water. I feel like my skin has cleared up a lot! I’ve been guzzling unsweetened iced tea like crazy!
  • Focus on strength training in addition to cardio. Too often when I’m trying to lose weight (aka my whole life) I just focus on sweaty, messy cardio. However, this spring’s bootcamp session reminded me that great results come from mixing it up. Plus, nothing makes you feel more badass than pushing a sled filled with weights across a park.
  • Work on changing the negative self talk to a voice of compassion. This means calling out my friends and family when they diss themselves. Life is too short to hate yourself… so I want to make sure I live every day grateful for this body I have, as imperfect as it may be. It is perfect because it is mine, and it works, which is a gift some people don’t have.

That’s all I got for now. Here’s some exciting news: The Double Chin Diary has been listed in Diet To Go’s top 100 inspiring weight loss blogs!!! There are days when I’m too tired, too lazy, or too meh to write, but for the most part, I love coming back here and checking in. Writing has always been my sanctuary, and to know that there are real live people out there reading my rambling warms my heart. When I reach my goal, know that you have played a part in it. THANK YOU.

I hope you have a wonderful day. :)

Starting Over: A Clean Slate

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Today, I struggled with a feeling that often surfaces — I saw a friend who’s lost an amazing amount of weight, and I instantly thought, “Why haven’t I done that?” I’m THRILLED for my friend, but it reminded me once again that I absolutely cannot compare myself to other people – as everybody is walking a completely different path in completely different shoes. However, recognizing other people’s success is always a good reminder of, “How I can try harder?” Here are the things I need to do to try harder: be kinder to myself, stop beating myself up in my head about my weight, drink more water, stop avoiding the scale, and curb the overeating.

With that, I’ve made a decision to start over. Here’s what I’m going to do: I’m restarting My Fitness Pal, at my current weight. I’ve been yo-yoing the past couple months, and who knows what from – muscle building, eating junk food, water retention, hormones, stress…. who knows! I’d been avoiding updating the weigh-in graph on the app, and for what? Because the number would bother me? Who cares – life goes on. I will start over. I’m starting fresh, with a clean slate, and it doesn’t matter how much weight I lost six months ago, or what weight I’m at today – what counts is that as of today, a new page has been turned. I need to track EVERYTHING on MyFitnessPal. Your support has been huge – I totally love seeing all of you stopping by the blog, writing comments to me, “liking” my updates. It really means a lot, and helps motivate me to keep trying. It’s also been awesome having April join in on the blog, because it reminds me that I’m never, ever alone, and someone with the very same blood and DNA as me shares the exact same struggles!

In addition, I’m going to start adding weekly weigh-ins again. We all know the scale and I have a mostly hateful relationship. However, I recognize that I need it to keep me in check. My first weigh in update will be posted on Friday, and I’m going to try reaaaaally hard to keep it up, because I need some more transparency about that number. I can’t disregard the amazing progress I’ve made so far, in particular, I’m thrilled at my transformation from out-of-shape to somewhat-fit. I look forward to getting stronger, better and faster, and am loving the new support system I have with my workout buddies Susannah, Merrie and Sally.

When you’re trying to change bad habits, do you ever find yourself just wanting to start over? It doesn’t need to be cold turkey, but it needs to be a marked point for me, where I say, “Ok, I’m starting over. I’m going to forget the past and just live in the present and focus on making a better future.”

Now – help me with my first starting over challenge. Next Thursday, I’m going to Mexico for a five day vacation. How do I log my food when I won’t have internet access? Should I go old-school and use a pen and paper, or try and trust myself without logging? Should I enjoy my vacay and eat what I want, but in moderation?

Mastering a Goal

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Good morning and Happy Monday! I’ve been a little more quiet on the blog lately, because I’ve been putting the finishing touches on a very long-term goal… my THESIS!

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I started graduate school in 2010, twoweeks after I got married, and two months after I had scored a big promotion. I remember nervously sitting around a table of unfamiliar faces, still glowing from my honeymoon, starting to freak out a little bit as my eyes scanned the lengthy syllabus of research methods. At work, I went from a copywriter to a content manager, managing a team of three people, writing Facebook updates and blogs for nine different brands. I worked at least 45 hours a week and went to class at night, exhausted, bleary-eyed and hungry, but I made it through with my laptop, diet coke and the support of my husband and family.

I had intended for grad school to take two years, but as the reality of school set in, I knew it would take longer. I ended up staying for three years, and in those three years, I met wonderful friends, some of whom read this blog. (Hi Julie, Emily, Lauren, Virginia and Luis!) I also worked my way through stress-eating (Something I’m still fighting), cried when my 36 page literature review came back for the 10th time needing more revisions (I’m not exaggerating. That %&$#! lit review came back ten times!), traveled to Thailand, lost my sweet kitty Leo, and did a million other things. Life always went on, but it went on with a giant weight on my shoulders – my thesis. I turned down fun party invitations, missed family vacations and spent hours glued to my computer. I wrote and re-wrote huge chunks of the same text, over and over again. I made a lot of sacrifices for the past three years to work on this thesis, but I was always grateful I had the opportunity to be learning and to be in grad school. It was hard. But I did it.

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The first photo of me as Alyssa Curran, MA. Taken minutes after my thesis was approved – with happy tears still shiny in my eyes!

Last Thursday, at 2 pm, I paced the hallways of the Mike Curb College of Arts, Media and Communication while my thesis committee deliberated my final project. I had come prepared with 106 pages of my own work, two PDFs of the social media handbook you can read at SocialSyllabi.com, and a cheat sheet of notes. I defended my project in front of two women I greatly respect, both who are doctorates, one in education, one in journalism, women who have worked at the Los Angeles Times and have been embedded in war zones. At the end of an hour and a half of changes, they signed a paper and shook my hand – I had just earned my master’s degree!

When they signed the paper, I wanted to leap across the table and hug them. Tears flooded my eyes and I had to do that embarrassing fan-your-face thing to prevent myself from bursting into happy, joyous tears. I have worked SO HARD for this degree, and I am so proud of myself. I’m not usually a braggart (ok, fine, sometimes I can be), but I’ve been basking in my accomplishment the past week. I have a MASTER’S DEGREE before I’m even 28 years old. THAT is awesome. THAT is accomplishment. THAT is hard work, and opportunity, and commitment – and THAT reminds me that this whole weight loss thing? It might be the hardest thing I’ve ever worked on in my life, but I can do this, too. My Master’s Degree taught me a lot. Not just about dedication and time, but about perseverance. About not throwing in the towel when all you want to do is quit. About keeping going, when your eyes are heavy and your heart is tired. About not comparing yourself to others, about realizing this journey is your own – no one elses, and if your heart is in it, you will get there, regardless of your pace. I need to remember these thoughts, these feelings, when the number on the scale is up, when my jeans feel snug, when I compare myself to a thin girl and think that I am not enough. I can do this. I will do this.

My sweet friend Ruby and I in 2008. We are still friends to this day!

My sweet friend Ruby and I in 2008. We are still friends to this day!

My master’s degree is so much more to me than just a paper saying I’m well educated in the field of mass communication and media. It’s a reminder for me that when I work hard, I can do anything. I just need to remember to take it one step at a time, believe in myself, and try my best. On May 21 I’ll once again walk across the Oviatt Library steps, exactly five years after I earned my BA in Journalism in the same spot. In a lot of ways, I’m a different person than who I was in 2008, but one thing remains the same – my ambition to make my life worth living to the fullest, every minute of every day. I am proud of the person I am, and you should be proud of who you are, too.

So tell me – what is one thing in your life, big or small, that makes you proud of the person you are today?

 

I’ve been dropping my birthday pounds!

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I’m happy to report that I have managed to lose four pounds since I began creating my meal plans last week!   My ear infection has not eased up, apparently it was caused by a virus so my amoxicillin has done nothing.  If anything, I would say it has gotten worse!

But unfortunately the days when I could stay in bed with the three C’s  (coloring books, crayons, and cartoons) are over and I still need to attend to my responsibilities of school and work.

I have taken a break from my usual tennis, Pilates, and yoga although I gave tennis a shot on Wednesday and ended up totally overexerting myself, causing me to come home and skip the next three classes and leave work early.

I knew I wouldn’t be able to do so well when it came to the exercise so I’ve been making up for it by really trying to stick with a routine.   I’ve been consistently eating my servings of beans with a big salad at lunch along with my light breakfasts and dinners.  I have also been rocking my water intake but I also think that’s because all my medicine is making me super thirsty.

I got to spend the weekend away with my best girl friends for a Monterey Bay weekend.  We stayed in the exciting town of Salinas where people with pink hair must be pretty rare as I got quite a few stares.  I indulged myself after doing a ton of walking for dinner at my seventh brewery of the month,  Monterey Coast Brewing.  That night my friends and I stayed in our hotel room doing our nails and making a big batch of “hotel guacamole”.  I love the life of a 30 year old, haha!  Who needs clubs and overpriced drinks when you can have your best friends in a hotel room with a plate of guacamole!??!

In my element making guacamole!

In my element making a simple guacamole of avocados, garlic powder, salt, and lime!

This week has been way better than last week as I’ve been finding out more in regards to my Math situation and college.  It turns out that the two years of algebra I took in high school totally have counted this whole time as prerequisites!  I’ve already gotten  that transferred over  and I’m all set to give a try at statistics, a class everyone assures me I’ll be better at since it’s “real life math”.  I feel confident because I’ve been informed on all the best teachers in my area who do open-book tests and no homework! Haha!  I may not be smart at math but I sure am crafty at working the system… but not crafty enough to figure this out before I took  the class I’m in now!   ;) Thank you all for your support about that, it was awesome to see that some of you have had issues like myself as well!

 

In spirit of avocados which are so nice and cheap right now in California – how do YOU make your guacamole?!

 

Avocados for all,

AprilSignatur

My reflections on my no-weigh month

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In a couple days, it will be one month since I agreed to say no to the scale for a whole 30 days. The first few days of not weighing, I felt anxious, like I wanted to just hop on and see what was going on. Since I had started boot camp three times a week, I had a hopeful feeling that the number would be lower – but then I remembered all the times I got on that scale thinking the number would be lower, and it was the same, or up, and it put me in a crappy mood for the next hour or two. The reason I decided to go no-weigh for a month was that it was getting discouraging to see the number not move. One bad weigh in and I was grumpy for the rest of the day, tempted to blow off my eating plans or exercise, because why did it matter? All that hard work and I was getting no where.

After the first few days of no weigh, I felt free. I didn’t hop on in nervous anticipation every morning. The scale became less of a mood-breaker and more of an annoying piece of furniture taking up space in my bedroom. It was liberating not to worry about a salty meal the night before, or if my exercise had “caught up” with me. I loved it. I loved being no weigh.

To help me keep track of my progress, I took all of my measurements the first day of no-weigh. I checked in today and did a re-measure, and I can say that I’m happy with the way things are going. At the end of this week, I’ll weigh myself and see what’s up. I don’t know what to expect. My fitness habits have been great, and I’m accomplishing major things fitness wise – running a mile without stopping, getting through 60 minute cardio sessions without dying, enjoying the healthy flush and spurt of energy that regular exercise gets me. Considering that I’ve just started a new job and am in my last month of grad school, my mood has been amazing. However, my eating has been more spotty with the last few weeks of school. This week, there were many days when I worked an 8 hour day, came home and immediately started working on my thesis, finishing up at 1 AM, snarfing down a few slices of pizza or going out to grab a Vietnamese noodle bowl with my husband. I haven’t been able to put as much thought and preparation into my meals, but I’m hoping my diligent exercise efforts have helped balance it out.

We’ll see how my weigh in goes at the end of this week, but if staying away from the number didn’t do too much damage, I might consider weighing myself less frequently. Over this long, long process, I’ve learned that you can FEEL skinny, FEEL fit, FEEL good – and not lose weight. But maybe you gained muscle. Or maybe you’re bloated. Or maybe you didn’t go to the bathroom. Or maybe you forgot to take off your bath robe. There are so many variables to what affects the number on the scale – and after my no-weigh month, I’m learning to give those variables less “room” in my daily life. Life happens. I don’t need a scale to tell me my worth, or what kind of day I’m going to have. I will choose to be conscious of my health by the way I feel – how I’m sleeping, my moods, my energy level, the color of my skin.

Have you ever considered doing a “no weigh”? Why or why not?

 

 

My first fitness related injury!

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Hello all! This morning started out like any other; my alarm clock blared at 6:45, I hit snooze, rolled up in my blanket, nuzzled my pillow and refused to accept the fact that I had to get out of my warm bed and go get sweaty. Then, I heard the “buzz buzz” of my phone, letting me know I had a text. My workout buddy was sick and wouldn’t be going to bootcamp. Instantly, I thought “I shouldn’t go either, especially if she’s not going.” Then, the skinny girl in my brain said “Get yo’ ass out of bed. You have no excuse not to go. HOW BAD DO YOU WANT THIS?!” and with that, I got out of bed, got dressed, and drove to the park. So that was victory number one of the day. Victory #2 is odd because nobody should be happy they got hurt working out, but it’s kind of like this weird badge of honor like, oh, I didn’t get hurt because I tripped on my wedges, I got hurt because I was doing something AWESOME. Tara from Worth Every Ounce ironically posted about this today, too – how getting hurt when you’re doing something cool has way more “cred”. For people working hard to get in shape it’s kind of like, wow, I guess I really am workin’ it! Anyways, how did I get hurt doing something awesome?

Our awesome bootcamp teacher Gordon uses all kinds of creative methods to make sure we get a maximum calorie burn. Today, we all pushed and pulled an orange sled filled with free weights and barbels. I was shocked how hard it was, because the sled was HEAVY and the dirt patch didn’t give it any traction at all.Plus, you have to be way low on your knees and push fast – NOT an easy workout.

PUSH!!!

PUSH!!!

As I pushed it, my momentum got the best of me and I lurched forward, having that “Oh sh*$. I’m going to fall” reaction. I quickly thought “not on my wrists”, because as a writer and computer nerd, god forbid my wrists get jacked up, but instead I had my knees pointed out…

On my way to a wipe out

On my way to a wipe out

Going, gone, gone. I was down, landing on my right knee with all my weight. I cried in pain and the teacher called for an ambulance as I read my last will and testament… JUST KIDDING. Just wanted to see if you were paying attention. Here’s another reenactment, because I’m all about the dramatic:

Ow, ow!

Ow, ow!

I laughed it off and got up, a little muddy and a little embarrassed, but it didn’t feel like anything more than a scuffed knee until we started running sprints. I had to jog in place because my little scuffed knee had started to throb in an unpleasant way – and tonight, I have a battle scar of a purple bruise and a swollen knee.

So yeah! Weird, right? Sucks to get hurt, but thankfully it’s mild, and if anything, I feel all hard-core being like “Yeah. I fell. Pushing a sled filled with 70 pounds of weight. What did YOU do today?” Have you ever had a fitness related injury? What was it? How’d you overcome it? I know my poor dad tore his ACL when skiing and his knee has never been the same…