Alyssa and the Caveman Diet


Happy Friday! You all know I’m a descendant of the Vikings, but today, lets go back even further into my family’s history….back to the Paleolithic era. Here’s my great-great-great-great-great grandmother, Alyssicus Afarensis. See how lean and strong her body was? Sure, she needs her roots done and a little bit of exfoliation, but Alyssicus had a bangin’ body- because she gathered berries and nuts for her meals, and feasted on lean mastodon meat with sabertooth bacon. Alyssicus didn’t have Santito’s tortilla chips or delicious Diet to Go, anything she ate, she foraged or caught. No doubt, her sinewy muscles were earned by climbing trees and scaling mountains, not from flailing like a flabby chicken in Zumba. She was sometimes hungry, but when she ate, she ate the right things because she had no choice- fruits, nuts, meat and vegetables. She didn’t have gluten, she didn’t have popcorn, and she didn’t even have fire. (Fire is on it’s way, but Alyssicus Afarensis was an Australopithecus Afarensis, more commonly known as Lucy, or the first bi-pedal human. Note: Anthropology buffs will argue that the photo above is more of a homo-erectus – for the sake of creativity just pretend we’re Australopithicus. PS: Did you guys know I have a BA Minor in Anthropology?! You do now!)

Image borrowed from I’m trying to be the one before the red cup guy!!!

Today, 21st century digital Alyssa has decided to go back to her roots- waaaay back. You may have heard of the Paleo Diet- and today, I’m on my fifth day of eating only veggies, meat, fruit and some nuts. I’m down 2.6 pounds, likely water weight I gained once I went off diet to go, but I feel good- strong, satisfied and not falling victim to my usual 3 pm crunchy cravings. The real importance of a paleo diet is to not eat processed food- so no dairy, no junk food, no gluten, no bread, no diet Pepsi. While the first three days the siren song of diet coke was getting to me, I’m happy to report that I’m not craving the ghastly brown liquid anymore.

For those of you who are skeptical, don’t worry, I’m only trying Paleo for 30 days, as an experiment of sorts. I’m all about research and trying something once, and after all, I’ve always had the feeling I was born in the wrong era. Perhaps Paleolithic is the right one for me?!