Mastering a Goal

Good morning and Happy Monday! I’ve been a little more quiet on the blog lately, because I’ve been putting the finishing touches on a very long-term goal… my THESIS!

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I started graduate school in 2010, twoweeks after I got married, and two months after I had scored a big promotion. I remember nervously sitting around a table of unfamiliar faces, still glowing from my honeymoon, starting to freak out a little bit as my eyes scanned the lengthy syllabus of research methods. At work, I went from a copywriter to a content manager, managing a team of three people, writing Facebook updates and blogs for nine different brands. I worked at least 45 hours a week and went to class at night, exhausted, bleary-eyed and hungry, but I made it through with my laptop, diet coke and the support of my husband and family.

I had intended for grad school to take two years, but as the reality of school set in, I knew it would take longer. I ended up staying for three years, and in those three years, I met wonderful friends, some of whom read this blog. (Hi Julie, Emily, Lauren, Virginia and Luis!) I also worked my way through stress-eating (Something I’m still fighting), cried when my 36 page literature review came back for the 10th time needing more revisions (I’m not exaggerating. That %&$#! lit review came back ten times!), traveled to Thailand, lost my sweet kitty Leo, and did a million other things. Life always went on, but it went on with a giant weight on my shoulders – my thesis. I turned down fun party invitations, missed family vacations and spent hours glued to my computer. I wrote and re-wrote huge chunks of the same text, over and over again. I made a lot of sacrifices for the past three years to work on this thesis, but I was always grateful I had the opportunity to be learning and to be in grad school. It was hard. But I did it.

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The first photo of me as Alyssa Curran, MA. Taken minutes after my thesis was approved – with happy tears still shiny in my eyes!

Last Thursday, at 2 pm, I paced the hallways of the Mike Curb College of Arts, Media and Communication while my thesis committee deliberated my final project. I had come prepared with 106 pages of my own work, two PDFs of the social media handbook you can read at SocialSyllabi.com, and a cheat sheet of notes. I defended my project in front of two women I greatly respect, both who are doctorates, one in education, one in journalism, women who have worked at the Los Angeles Times and have been embedded in war zones. At the end of an hour and a half of changes, they signed a paper and shook my hand – I had just earned my master’s degree!

When they signed the paper, I wanted to leap across the table and hug them. Tears flooded my eyes and I had to do that embarrassing fan-your-face thing to prevent myself from bursting into happy, joyous tears. I have worked SO HARD for this degree, and I am so proud of myself. I’m not usually a braggart (ok, fine, sometimes I can be), but I’ve been basking in my accomplishment the past week. I have a MASTER’S DEGREE before I’m even 28 years old. THAT is awesome. THAT is accomplishment. THAT is hard work, and opportunity, and commitment – and THAT reminds me that this whole weight loss thing? It might be the hardest thing I’ve ever worked on in my life, but I can do this, too. My Master’s Degree taught me a lot. Not just about dedication and time, but about perseverance. About not throwing in the towel when all you want to do is quit. About keeping going, when your eyes are heavy and your heart is tired. About not comparing yourself to others, about realizing this journey is your own – no one elses, and if your heart is in it, you will get there, regardless of your pace. I need to remember these thoughts, these feelings, when the number on the scale is up, when my jeans feel snug, when I compare myself to a thin girl and think that I am not enough. I can do this. I will do this.

My sweet friend Ruby and I in 2008. We are still friends to this day!

My sweet friend Ruby and I in 2008. We are still friends to this day!

My master’s degree is so much more to me than just a paper saying I’m well educated in the field of mass communication and media. It’s a reminder for me that when I work hard, I can do anything. I just need to remember to take it one step at a time, believe in myself, and try my best. On May 21 I’ll once again walk across the Oviatt Library steps, exactly five years after I earned my BA in Journalism in the same spot. In a lot of ways, I’m a different person than who I was in 2008, but one thing remains the same – my ambition to make my life worth living to the fullest, every minute of every day. I am proud of the person I am, and you should be proud of who you are, too.

So tell me – what is one thing in your life, big or small, that makes you proud of the person you are today?

 

Weekly Weigh In June 11th

Water Aerobics has been helping me shed some flubber! PS - Like my new swimsuit?

I approached Monday’s morning’s weigh in with a little bit of caution – I had been tracking well, but splurged on movie theatre popcorn, and also went slightly over my calories on Friday night. All in all I knew I didn’t “blow it”, but I wasn’t sure I’d be in the weight loss zone. Well,  I must have done something right, because this week I….

Lost 2 pounds!

YAY! I was kind of in disbelief, because this marks two consecutive weeks of having awesome weight loss success. I’m down five pounds in two weeks, which is shamefully more than I’ve lost in a year. Damn yo-yoing. Anyways, It just goes to show you that sometimes it’s just the smallest little things that can make a huge difference. Here’s what I’ve been doing that’s contributed to my success so far:

1)   Meeting every week on Monday mornings with my registered dietician. She keeps me in check and helps me work through upcoming challenges… and she reads my blog!

2)   Drinking water. Lots of it! It’s crazy how sometimes I confuse hunger with being thirsty. I’m trying to drink water now when I feel snacky.

3)   Realizing that little bites, licks and tastes add up. The things I pick at when I’m cooking can definitely add up, so I’m trying to be mindful of tracking every single thing that goes into my mouth.

4)   Allowing myself at least one good “splurge” a week – but realizing I need to balance it out with good choices otherwise, like the movie popcorn last week. I made a conscious decision to eat light the rest of the day and the week, and it didn’t mess me up on the scale.

5)   Letting myself feel crazy motivated and enthusiastic about my success. I’m a pretty enthusiastic person, and when I’m happy about something, I feel that much more propelled to keep going. I have some momentum now, and I love sharing with my friends that I’ve had some good weight loss.

How’s your week going so far?

Weekly Weigh In #1 – Starting Over!

Hi everybody,
I decided to just start from scratch with the weigh ins again to reflect my NEW plan (calorie counting) and get the “Progress” section going again. Last week, I had 51.4 pounds to lose. This week, I have 49 pounds to lose, which means I…

lost 2.4 pounds!

Last week when I met with my nutritionist, I had a good kind of Eureka moment about my weight loss. This nutritionist is fantastic because she doesn’t just focus on the food aspect of losing weight, but the psychological factors as well. When I saw her five years ago, she hit the nail on the head that for me, a lot of my weight issues have something to do with eating being my “rebellion” in my life. It’s kind of hard to explain without getting all Freud on you, but basically, I’m pretty much a “good girl”. I do good in school, I always show up to work, I don’t drink much, smoke or do drugs. I hate being late, I’m an old lady in that I like to go to bed by 11:30, and my one guilty pleasure (besides shopping and trashy magazines) is food. In her words, much like a drug user or drinker or smoker, my “rebellion” from always being the good girl is eating what I want when I want it. (Who needs vodka when you can have popcorn?)

I exercised more this week, too!

Bingo. So this week, I paid more attention to the psychological aspect of weight. Feeling stressed? I walked it out at lake Balboa park. Feeling anxious? I had a glass of water. Feeling irritated? I hugged my husband. I tend to turn to food when I’m feeling something other than contentedness and happiness – and with that, the pounds pile on, and I’m in an eternal cycle of stress-eat-soothe. That’s not good in any way, y’all.

So, I was thrilled this week to see some nice progress and identify some things that I need to work on. Maybe I put too much of an emphasis on the physical factors of weight – like the scale, eating, calorie counting and exercise. Maybe I need to focus more on ME – and why I do the things I do. A lot of weight loss is behavioral. Maybe it’s time to just gently adjust some behavior. Hmm. I have to admit to myself that I’m in a pretty stressful phase of my life, juggling a demanding full-time job, a thesis, a blog, a household and weight loss. It’s ok to not be perfect 99% of the time. If I can embrace the emotions rather than trying to mask them with food, maybe I can embrace weight loss. Now I feel all psychological! Just call me Dr. Alyssa…

Have you ever had a Eureka moment about something you were struggling with and then realize more of it than you’d care to think was related to your thoughts and/or feelings? How did realizing that moment feel?

 

What gets me through the hard days? Humor.

Hi everyone! This week’s weigh in was kind of a bummer because I gained a little bit of weight, and consequently, cut my calories a little bit. I even wondered what I should do on the blog…fess up? not mention it? And then I realized, the whole point of this blog is to stay honest to myself, so I gotta keep it real! I get so discouraged sometimes with weight loss – it seems like its the one thing in my life so far that I just cannot do! However, I know that hard days and times like this will pass, and I have to keep going, and never give up. So when I need a little more pep in my step, I always look to things that will make me laugh – and lately, that’s been Pinterest! Enjoy some of the health related funnies and motivational little pix that have made me smile today! Also, if you’re on pinterest, follow me! I’m @lyssacurran .

Source: tumblr.com via Alyssa on Pinterest

Source: Alyssa on Pinterest

Source: google.com via Alyssa on Pinterest

Source: Alyssa on Pinterest

Weekly Weigh In #7 – In which I want to bitchslap Weight Watchers in the face.

After a week of diligent tracking, a four mile hike, a dance class, and several miles walked on breaks at work, I…

lost a whopping .2 of a pound

I’m frustrated. Not gonna lie. Thinking about canceling Weight Watchers on the spot and drowning my sorrows in peeps, guacamole and Mike’s Hard Lemonade. But I’m not going to do that. I calmly met with my Weight Watchers leader after the meeting and we went over a few things.

The first thing is we agreed to reduce my daily points target by two points. This means eating less. The second thing is, I can’t use any of my “extra” or “flex” points. That sucks. Those are usually my weekend enjoyment points, where I’ll have a hard cider or a cupcake or popcorn.I’ve also been instructed to eat a maximum of three pieces of fruit a day.

I have mixed feelings about this all. First, I’m pissed that my second go around on the new Weight Watchers Points Plus system is turning out the same as the first. I’m paying for the plan because, ya know, even their copyrighted tagline is, “because it works.” Clearly it doesn’t work in a one size fits all way. I’m supposed to be able to follow the plan and have 49 extra points and all my daily points that the calculator decides for me… and I can’t. I’m supposed to be able to eat unlimited fruit. And I can’t. I’m not saying it doesn’t work at all, because it obviously does… for people like my friends KjPugs, WonderWallA Bit of This and All the Weigh. These people have rocked the plan, and lost tons of weight, and it was more than just the plan – it was their dedication, blood, sweat and tears. I’m not saying I’m following the plan perfectly, because I’m sure sometimes my measurements are off or I track something as less than it is – but I think I’m at about 90% genuine compliance.

Gratuitous Photo of Leo the Cat because I don't have any pictures that apply!

Am I just not compatible with Weight Watchers? I’m really fed up, but I’m going to try at least for a month with the no flex/extra points, less fruit and lower daily points target. If after a month I’m still honest to goodness trying and not seeing results, I gotta move on. I see my nutritionist early next week, and I can’t wait to dive into my tracking history with her and see what knowledge she can give me. I successfully lost 30 pounds in 2008 under her instruction, so I know she can steer me in the right direction.

I think the hardest thing about this is trying to figure out why, a couple times, I’ve managed to lose 2.8 pounds a week. The only thing I’ve discovered is that was a week I didn’t use flex points – so hopefully this will do the trick. Still… kind of crappy. What do you think I should do? Keep at it and see if these tweaks will do the trick? Abandon Weight Watchers and go back to sensible eating and exercise without a plan? Say screw it and accept my zaftig unhealthy weight? :) Choices, Choices… I gotta lose the weight because there’s something coming up in the near future that will require a fit and healthy body- and NO, for the love of god, I am not pregnant.

I’ll share the exciting news in the next post :) Have a marvelous Monday!

 

Weekly Weigh In #5

Well, folks – Weigh in was today – and let’s get right to it- I’m happy to report this week that  I

lost 2.6 pounds

I worked really hard this past week to correct some of my previous mistakes. I drank way more water, put the kibosh on the junk eating, and got some activity. One night when I as feeling bingey, I had hot tea instead of a salty, crunchy snack – and I also had a terrible cold, so that probably helped keep my appetite from going all nutty. I also had motivation on my side, because there was no way I wanted to come back on here today and report that I had gained weight (again).

I’m enjoying the 0-point fruit and keeping our fruit man in business at work – it’s only $3 for a giant container of fresh pineapple with chili and lime. I’m also trying to limit my nighttime eating, and save my “extra” points for weekends, because that’s when I struggle. I even managed to fit in homemade popcorn and still lose- a splurge at 10 points for a big bowl with real butter.

I really want to stay on track this week, because I’m 1.8 pounds away from losing 5 pounds total – and it’d be really nice to reach that goal next week. It’s funny because this week I lost EXACTLY what I gained last week. Heh. I guess my body, like myself, is a little bit neurotic about symmetry ;)

How are you doing this week?