Tag Archives: self esteem

What do you LOVE about your body?

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Happy Valentine’s Day! Whether or not you enjoy this holiday, April had a great idea that in the spirit of love, we each share a few things we LOVE about our bodies. It can be hard in our society, especially for women, to embrace what some perceive as flaws, but ultimately, I know the path to a healthy body includes working on a healthy mind; acknowledging the fantastic things my body can do and be at any size. Please read what April and I love about our bodies, and then, we challenge you to comment with one thing you love about your body. If you don’t feel comfortable commenting or can’t think of anything, know this: you are unique, you are beautiful, you are loved.

April, Alyssa, and Tommy at an age when body image didn't matter. What matters was who got the coolest shell.

Here’s what Alyssa had to say about her body…

plus size wedding gown corset bodice lace victorian dress

Corset dresses were made for curves!

1) I love my womanly shape. I’ve always said in regards to my weight loss plans that I don’t need to be skinny, I just want to be healthy. I want a little “ba-donk-a-donk” or junk in my trunk. I love that I have big hips, an ample bottom and a voluptuous chest. I’m proud of my hourglass figure, and without it, couldn’t have rocked my corset-style wedding gown.

2) I love my hands. As a writer, my hands are the vehicle for my livelihood. They also help me do some of my favorite things – bake and decorate cupcakes, plant flowers, paint my nails, pet my kittens, text my friends.

3) I love my strength. Despite being obese, I’ve always been proud of how strong I am. I can carry my own groceries, I can open doors, I can flex, and bend, and stretch and feel my muscles working.

4) I love my height. A lot of tall girls say they hate being tall, but not me! Never once have I had to ask someone to reach something for me. It can be annoying to find pants that fit, but I love being tall and would be lying if I said I didn’t feel more powerful because of my lucky five feet and nine inches.

Dewy and milky is fine with me!

Dewy and milky is fine with me!

5) I love my skin. I have a very milky white complexion and I used to be embarrassed of how pale I was. Now, I realize that not everyone needs to be tanned to be pretty, and I will happily accept compliments about my “peaches n cream” skin and “lovely complexion”. My cheeks turn a pretty rosy pink, and I look great in purple and black. No shame in being ghostly!

And here’s what April had to say about her body…

It can be rather hard to remember to love your body if you have struggled with weight or other physical appearance insecurities, especially if you’ve been reminded of what you don’t like about yourself from sharp-tongued others.  However, as fast as your self esteem balloon can be deflated, it can easily be filled up again when someone kinder pays you a compliment or perhaps you find the confidence to overlook harsh words.

It has taken me many years to be able to say that I love my body and even though I struggle with shame over my weight, I still am grateful for the body that I have and what it enables me to do.

- I *love* my legs.  I’m 5’11″ and like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, I’ve got “88 inches of therapy” to wrap around Richard Gere when he’s feeling blue…   Or more realistically to be able to step over fences and reach top shelf items with ease.  My legs also enable me to be “sturdy like a tree” in ska mosh pits so I don’t get knocked down and they also provide me with some extremely awesome balance… which has helped a lot in yoga.

Julia and Richard with her 88 inches of legs.

Julia and Richard with her 88 inches of legs.

- I also love my hips.  I once was not a fan of my hips but after being told enough times now that they’re awesome, I have come to appreciate the way my waist curves around my hips and how I get this sexy little bump when I lay on my side.

- This may be strange, but I love my fingers!  I always joke about how my fingers are the only skinny part about me.  They’re super long and I am said to have “piano hands”, which means when I spread them out as far as I can go, they can hit 11 piano keys.  I get random compliments on my hands too, some are nice and come from grocery store clerks and such… and some are creepy.  Thanks, okcupid, for helping me receive the creepy comments.

- The last part of my body I adore are my shoulders.  I think most women are a fan of their shoulders because it’s a part of our bodies that are very feminine and lead to some our other best assets (BOOBS!).  My shoulders lead to my least favorite part (ARMS!) but it doesn’t stop me from rocking strapless tops and dresses in opportunity to show them off.  I also love shoulders on men, it’s just something about that clavicle bone that is so attractive to me, haha.

April loving her body and showing off her great balancing skills!

April loving her body and showing off her great balancing skills!

Ok ladies (and gents), it’s your turn.

What is one thing you LOVE about your body?

*** There’s still time to join the Double Chin Diary DietBet! Our pot is over $600. Score a split of the pot with only a $15 buy in. Hurry, the game starts tomorrow!

Embracing my awkwardness: shaking my booty in Zumba

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Fraggle Rock!!!!!

When I was a teenager, it took me awhile to realize that I wouldn’t ever be cool in a conventional way. I would never be the girl who had a sheath of straight, blonde hair that fell in a perfect waterfall down my back, nor would I collect phone numbers en masse. My first two years of high school I remember trying desperately to fit in, to have the same L.E.I. jeans as everyone else, even though mine were a juniors size 14. With my brace face, cowlick curls and curvy hips, I never quite fit the mold. I muddled along feeling awkward until something magical happened in my junior year. With the help of my best friend Katelyn, I learned to let my awkward out. I embraced the dorky music lover inside of me, and started to realize that I didn’t CARE if playing the flute was nerdy or if liking Lenore comic books wasn’t cool.

Rockin’ out with My Ruin at the merch table (I was SO SKINNY!!! Why on Earth did I think I was fat?!)

My parents let me go to heavy metal shows in the city, and I became a little band-aid to a bunch of girl rock metal bands. It was the best thing ever. I bought a BC Rich Warlock Guitar and I had pink streaks in my hair. I drew creepy little monsters in my text books, started to make my own lunches and dated a boy in a band. (I married him. Aww.) My life got much, much cooler but only because I learned to let myself be awkward. The day I embraced myself was the day I realized how liberating it was to just be yourself — to say, I don’t give a crap if you don’t like my cow-print socks or my fondness of Phantom of the Opera – because I do, and I am awesome. Embracing your awkwardness is incredible – and I’ve recently had a mini-renaissance of this feeling from Zumba.

You see, I’m not a dancer. I would never call myself graceful. I bruise easier than a ripe peach on a hot summer day, and I’m constantly tripping over my own shadow. I took my first Zumba class several years ago and was horrified by the shimmying, the shaking, the legs crossing over each other and the sheer amount of dance patterns you had to perform. I went once and never again – because I felt too awkward. Nobody wants to see a fat white girl gyrating to latin music, right? At FitBloggin’, I participated in a group Zumba class. The old familiar feeling crept in – the embarrassment, the awkwardness. The negative thoughts started coming. “I look fat. Everybody’s looking at me. I can’t dance. I’ll never get these steps right. I’m so offbeat… I should just give up.” But, by the grace of Buddha, I shushed those thoughts and kept going. And I had fun. Eventually the little voice waned into a quiet whisper, and I shook and shimmied and tried to dance — and it was fun, and I burned calories.

Awkward and Awesome!

I did Zumba tonight and some of the old familiar thoughts came back as I caught sight of my pasty white arms in the mirror. My tummy clung to my hot pink tank top and I thought “Ugh, I look gross.” But I kept going – and I reminded myself that I’m never thinking about what other people look like when I’m working out – I’m thinking about how tired I am or how I’m going to sneak a handful of chocolate chips out of the cupboard when I get home. And BAM – the negative voices stopped. I danced, I shimmied, and I shook — and I burned calories –  smiling and laughing while doing it. On the way out, the teacher even told me how she loved my smile. That’s right. You don’t smile at the gym if you’re not having fun! Tonight I realized I may never feel 100% confident in my skin, but as long as I can embrace my awkward rather than fight it, I remember that it’s not so bad being me. I can’t dance but it’s not about whether or not I can dance. It’s about working up a sweat, churning up some endorphins, and burning fat. It’s about saying, “I don’t need to be the Zumba Queen. It doesn’t matter if I do the Salsa! Eff the standards of perfection – I’m gonna shake my booty!” So thank you, Zumba — for reminding me how to embrace my awkwardness.

 

Happy Halloween! Keeping the confidence (even in costume!) by April

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This past week has been quite exciting for me as it is my favorite time of the year, Halloween!  I don’t go out all too often but when Halloween is coming, I transform from a loyal-to-my-leaf caterpillar into an enthusiastic social butterfly.  I successfully went out three nights this past weekend, each night in a different costume.

I don’t feel the best about myself all the time because of my weight but it doesn’t stop me from being comfortable with myself while I am in public, especially at Halloween time.  The past two years worth of costumes have rocked because I’ve been getting a lot of positive attention from the opposite sex which DEFINITELY boosts up my confidence levels.  Or maybe the guys just really like costumes that emphasize a woman who brings them beer. (Last year I was a Czech/Swedish beer girl and this year I was a German version.)

Last night while I was at one of the parties, a group of us girls were all sitting around with each other gabbing when one of them looked at their phones, sighed, and said “my friends don’t want to come out because they think they’re too fat.”  We all laughed and I told her that even if they were fat, they should rock it and come out anyway.  The girl said that her friends were not fat at all and actually were quite thin but just lacked the confidence to come out in a costume.

Upon my initial shock of hearing that news, I reminded myself of what I learned while I was working at the women’s gym a few years ago.  I learned that the women I thought would have 100% confidence in themselves were just as nervous about their bodies as a woman packing the extra pounds. It didn’t matter if the woman was a size 2 or a size 20.  She still had issues about herself that she didn’t like, whether it was the way the fat bunched together on her back or the way her veins would show through her fat-less skin.

If I knew then what I know now, I would tell these women that what they should be focused on is not worrying about what others think of them but worrying about the way they view themselves.  I feel confidence is one of the most attractive personality features in a person because it shows that THEY are the most important person in their lives.  Plus, how can you expect others to be able to love you if you can’t even love yourself?

 

Lots of love and a little bit candy,