Weekly Weigh In #…I forgot

Hello Bloggies! Happy Friday to you – It’s a super special Friday to me because I work one day next week and then I’m off to Chicago and Minnesota to visit family and see my cousin get married! Exciting! I’ve been lacking on the weekly weigh-in posts – sorry – but believe me, I have been checking in with the scale every Saturday.

Happily this week I’m down another .8 of a pound… making my grand total 5.8 pounds since starting the weight tracking on this blog.

 

I should probably be more angry that I haven’t lost more, but when I consider my hectic life the past few months, I’m grateful I’m DOWN and not up! 5.8 pounds is a nice chunk of chunky, and I can feel it in my jeans. To be completely honest too, the last time I tracked was… *hangs head in shame* weeks ago. So with all that said, continuing to lose is a small victory for me and I’ve accepted that this particular journey will be long, but that small tweaks ultimately lead to big change over time.

I’ll be challenged many, many times on my upcoming vacation – with Wisconsin’s deep fried cheese curds, Chicago’s Italian Beef, Deep Dish Pizza and wedding cake – but I know that a few slip-ups on a vacation hardly make a downward spiral, or even more important, I don’t need to LET it turn into a downward spiral.

Things will probably be quiet around here next week – I’ll try to check in at least once, but if I don’t, please know that I’m enjoying a few days off work and school and spending time with my awesome family. I hope you have a great week!

The 3 Letter Word and What it Means to Me

Fat.
Three letters. So powerful.
Or is it?

I know the power of words. I use them everyday. I make a living from putting them together in pretty patterns. Words can save lives, hurt feelings, educate, make people laugh, make people cry, cause wars, invoke injury, death – you name it. A word is often times not just a word. The word “Fat” is a particularly interesting one because of its loaded meaning. As a little girl, fat was the worst word in the world. It was that thing you never wanted to be – the word that was whispered in hush tones, the ultimate failure, the sad word that caused bad eye contact and blushing cheeks. But now – fat is just fat to me. It’s a jiggly tummy, it’s the draping skin of my arm. It’s soft and plush and a place for my husband to rest his head. It’s yummy meal after yummy meal. It’s a part of me, and maybe one day it won’t be, but for now, fat is fat. I’m not going to let it have the power over me that it used to. There was worse things in life than being fat.

First Progress Picture - 48 pounds to go!

Some people disagree with me. That’s fine. It’s not their battle to fight. It’s mine – and for now, fat and I are kind of like acquaintances, neighbors. We’re not friends, but we live in the same neighborhood and we gotta make it work for the time being, ya know? We’ve known each other for a very long time.

That picture up there was taken a few minutes ago in my backyard. When I look at it I might think “fat”, but it’s not out of hatred. It’s just me. It’s 5 feet, 9 inches of strong, capable body, courageous and maternal heart, creative and powerful brain. I see a confident woman,  a happy woman, somebody who believes in the power of her brain and personality, and yes, even her good looks. I see me – happy, successful me, who’s graduated college with honors, married an awesome guy, started a wonderful career, and is working on making peace with her rambling and random mind.

So, I’m fat. So be it. Fat is fat. It is what it is, and I’m working on losing it to be a healther version of the Me that I already know and love. So I can have a family and keep up with ’em, so I can hike up a mountain overlooking the valley without huffing and puffing. So I can react to stressful situations without a scary spike in blood pressure, and so I can go on airplanes and roller coasters without fretting about a tight belt. So I can buy cute dresses and flattering swimsuits.

Fat is mean, scary, unfair, and unhealthy, but it’s also just fat. Three letters. Not so powerful to me, anymore.

What does fat mean to you?