My terrible, horrible, no good very bad day.

Happy Friday, everybody! I’ve been in a little bit of a funk this last part of the week as on Tuesday I headed to the doctor to get my weight re-checked and my liver enzymes reported. (After the 10 day detox, I was supposed to lose 8-12 pounds and we were hoping for an improvement on the elevated liver enzymes from tests prior).

To summarize, to prepare for success I…

  • Followed a very strict 10-day medical grade cleanse and detox (And FYI I did not cheat once — didn’t think I’d have to make that claim… thanks to the butthead who suggested my tests came back because I “probably cheated”,)
  • Consistently took my metformin, the new insulin resistant drug I was placed on that was supposed to help with weight loss

My scale at home was showing a hopeful number — 12 pounds down. I even bought an old school, analog dial scale to confirm that everything was correct. Husband even cross-checked his weight, and it was right. So when I weighed in at the doctor, I was really, really shocked to hear that in the past six weeks, I had gained five pounds.

As I sat on the the exam table and tried to choke back tears, I discussed with my doctor how this was even possible. We moved on to the liver results, and they haven’t gotten any better, at all. So my difficult, expensive, horrendous detox? Didn’t work.

My new plan of action is eating 1,000 calories a day per my doctor, starting a new drug called Invokana, also for insulin resistance associated with my PCOS, and having a liver ultrasound to rule out any masses, lesions or inflammation. I’m not gonna lie, I’m having a hard time with this all. When your body is going rogue despite you trying everything you possibly can to make it better, it’s frustrating. I had eight vials of blood taken on Tuesday to re-check my low vitamin D levels and also re-examine my thryoid function, this time, looking at thyroid antibodies, which if off balance can indicate Hashimoto’s hypothyroidism.

I thought I had made it through the appointment without bursting into tears, but as I was put in to another exam room to have my blood drawn, my eyes started welling up. I thought I was off the hook until the doctor came in, took one look at me, asked if I was ok, and the great dam broke free. I was really embarrassed but she was super supportive and comforting and assured me we would work through this together. I’m grateful to have a doctor with wonderful bed side manner who’s willing to work with me to figure out what’s going on.

I’m sad, mad, frustrated, irritated, scared… you name it. I want so badly to be on the right track, to see the scale moving downwards rather than up. The only thing I can think of is maybe the lack of exercise during my detox (no cardio was allowed during the plan) might have contributed to a gain – but even so – a gain of five pounds? Something’s wrong.

I’ve talked about my awesome intuition before, and I know something’s up. If nothing is found this time, I’m going to keep looking. I feel that something is off, or not working the way it should be. Knowing about the PCOS is half of it, but I really feel there’s another factor at play. Until I know, I must wait, as patiently as I can, trying to be optimistic. But I’ll tell you – you really never acknowledge your health until it’s in jeopardy. Take a moment today and be grateful for your health because when it’s suddenly in flux, it’s not fun. At all.

I’m sorry if this post is a downer but I needed to keep you all updated. Do you have any advice for me for handling the “What if”‘s of the next few days?


Results of my 10 Day Liver Detox

Well folks, I did it. Ten whole days of disgusting medical shakes four times a day and swallowing giant horse pills of pond-scum colored powder. Ten days of squeaky clean eating, including three days of eating ONLY cruciferous vegetables, beans and pears. Ten days of no exercise, which I actually missed. Ten days without MEAT! Ten days without CHOCOLATE! And even worse… Ten days without POPCORN!

I survived. I’m proud to say I didn’t cheat once, except for the time I added three frozen strawberries to the medical shake because I was literally sitting at the table near tears because I was so DONE with everything I had to eat. At that moment I remembered the little tow-headed girl who was forced to sit at her grandparent’s table because she wouldn’t finish her tuna casserole. I sat at the table for nearly an hour, crying because I didn’t like the fish taste and I had to eat it before I went to bed. (Note to self: Horrible lesson about food to teach your child. I get the whole not wanting to waste things mentality, but if your kid is crying because they hate something so much.. let it go.) In present day, my husband was a champ and talked me through it, but it took some MAJOR coaxing to get me to swallow that shake. Blech. So anyways, the strawberries helped mask the yicky fake sweetness. That’s hardly cheating, either… Three frozen strawberries is better than a binge at Panda Express, so I’ll take it. This detox was hard in a lot of ways, but it gave me some really good insight in to certain things. I had my blood re-tested today and should get the results by Wednesday or Thursday. I’d appreciate you all thinking clean liver thoughts, as I am admittedly a little bit nervous. I just want everything to be okay. Really, isn’t that all we ever want?

My final detox meal - spaghetti squash with heirloom tomato marinara. This was soo good!

My final detox meal – spaghetti squash with heirloom tomato marinara. This was soo good!

  • I always thought I’d be fine as a vegetarian, but this detox proved to me that I do actually crave meat. By day five, I would have traded my lucky socks for a chicken breast! My body was craving protein, and beans weren’t cutting it. Well, beans were cutting something, but it wasn’t hunger. Cutting the cheese, perhaps.
  • There are 5,000,000 ways to prepare vegetables, but after eating pretty much only vegetables for seven days, I’m sick of them. By day nine I was avoiding eating entirely because I was so sick of brussels sprouts, cauliflower and apples. I had to force myself to keep eating which is as rare as a unicorn for a foodie like me.
  • Eating squeaky clean does do amazing things to your taste buds. By the fourth or fifth day, I felt like flavors were so much more robust. Cinnamon was like a natural sugar bomb and black beans had such an amazing, earthy taste.

I was hoping after the detox I’d feel amazing, with incredible energy, no gray hairs, nary a zit on my face and a weight loss of 100 pounds. Well, I have no idea if I lost any weight at all because my scale conveniently crapped out the fourth day into the detox. I need to go buy a new one, but I’m hoping I lost some weight. As for feeling good, actually, I’ve felt pretty crummy the last four days. Tired, run-down, a little bit nauseous and head-achey. I’m trying to tell myself those are all actually good signs, that maybe my body is just hurting because all of the toxins are purging, but it’s tough to be positive when all you want to do is lay in your bed and whine about how crummy you feel. In addition, my husband is sick and a bunch of my co-workers are sick, so it’s possibly I’m either fighting off a cold or coming down with one.

The first piece of meat I've had in ten days. The angels sang!

The first piece of meat I’ve had in ten days. The angels sang!

I won’t have true “results” of the detox until my bloodwork comes back and I can weigh in, but in the mean time, I’m grateful to have had the experience, but I’m not gonna lie, I’m happy to be back to semi-normal eating. I’m going to try eating clean, but just being able to incorporate a larger variety of choices is amazing! In the end, I’m proud that I stuck to the plan like a champ and that I was able to follow doctor’s orders. It may not have been the most pleasant plan in the world, but I’m fortunate to have been able to follow the plan in its completion. But… I’m happy that it’s over šŸ˜‰

What’s the latest tough love thing you’ve had to do that maybe wasn’t the most pleasant, but you did it and have come out better because of it?



5 Thoughts on Day 5 of my Liver Detox and Cleanse

1. I ate a pound of brussels sprouts for lunch, per the guidelines of only eating “Cruciferous vegetables, greens and organic apples and pears” for days five through seven. My husband is an unlucky man as I could probably power a hot-air balloon with my own self-made gas.

Roasted Brussels Sprouts with Balsamic Vinegar and Rock Salt

Roasted Brussels Sprouts with Balsamic Vinegar and Rock Salt

2. This morning I was thinking about chicken breasts in such detail that I envisioned them dancing around, in a little chicken breast conga line. Who would have thought a simple, flame-grilled cut of lean meat would sound so appealing on day five of a vegan, gluten free, sugar free diet?

I never thought chicken would sound so good. Credit:

3. I just drank my third medical shake of the day (I do four a day for the next two days), and despite doing everything I could to make it taste palatable (aka, unsweetened apple juice, frozen pear slices and ice cubes) it still smells like rancid baby formula and those horrible nougat halloween candies. I’m over it.

Medigenics medical shake #3 is down the hatch.

Medigenics medical shake #3 is down the hatch.

4. I’m trying not to get discouraged about what I’m seeing on the scale. After three days, I was down 3.5 pounds, but this morning, I had bloated 2 of them back. I need to remember these things take time, but damnit, I’m all about instant reward. In my mind, after five days of very dedicated efforts, I expect to be 165 pounds. Maybe my expectations are a TAD bit too high?

5. My energy level feels good. I feel perky and upbeat, and I’m not too hungry, but more than anything, I miss being able to eat a variety of foods. I also miss the convenience of being able to make something quick and easy. I spent an hour today preparing and roasting vegetables for the next two days, and tonight I’ll make my own juice. I’m trying to remember how fortunate I am to be able to afford to eat clean and do something like this, but it’s hard when my husband cracks open an ice cold beer or I smell the delicious aroma of Lenny & Larry’s fudge brownies at work.

My goal for the next two days are to drink a ton of water, take it easy (this means no cardio… just light walking, etc, per the detox guidelines), and try and be conscious of the changes my body is going through. So far, so good, but I’ll be happy on Saturday when I can add rice and lean protein back into the mix. Sunday I can start slowly re-introducing foods, and then on Monday, I’ll get my blood tested again to see how my little liver is doing.

How’s your day going? Do you have any thoughts you’d like to share?



10 Day Liver Cleanse and Detox: Metagenics Clear Change, Day Three

Hi Chinners, happy Tuesday! Remember how last month I found out that I had elevated liver enzymes? So basically, there was one liver count test where the high average was supposed to be like 30.. and mine was 120. Yeah, about that. So I really don’t drink, maybe prior to going on Metformin, once a week, a glass of wine or two. I do know that I’m the cheapest date in the world in that it takes me only one glass of wine to get a buzz, and I’m super easily affected by caffeine. All of these things can point to a sensitive liver, which clearly I haz. (HELP ME! MY BLOGGING IS TURNING ME INTO A LOLCAT!)

A delicious detox-approved green salad, with chick peas, avocado, cucumber, tomato and assorted butter lettuce.

A delicious detox-approved green salad, with chick peas, avocado, cucumber, tomato and assorted butter lettuce.

Under my awesome doctor’s orders, we decided to do a liver detox and re-test my liver enzymes after six weeks. The six week mark is fast approaching, so I ordered the Metagenics Clear Change Program – 10 Day. I specifically waited to start the cleanse until after FitBloggin’, becauseĀ  I didn’t want to have any issues with my stomach while doing things like bouncing around on mini-trampolines or trying out crossfit for the first time. On Saturday, I made a very expensive Whole Foods trip and stocked up on organic pears, apples, Brussels sprouts, cabbage, broccoli, beets, carrots, rice cakes and organic, unfiltered, unsweetened apple juice. In addition to ingredients you provide yourself, you drink a “medical shake” a few times daily.

The food part of the detox basically involves a vegan, whole foods diet from days one through three with some milk substitutes and rice allowed, and then on day four, you start getting more hardcore with no rice, no milk substitutes and no meat. Days five to seven are what have me shaking in my boots – those are days where I can only eat “Cruciferous vegetables”, aka, the fart-bombs of veggie-land; broccoli, cauliflower, brussels sprouts, cabbage and greens. Oh my. Thankfully on those days I can still have some beans and my lovely organic apples and pears, but YIKES. I get HANGRY when I’m hungry, so this should be interesting.

A healthy mixed vegetable stir fry over a tiny bit of brown rice.

A healthy mixed vegetable stir fry over a tiny bit of brown rice.

So far I’ve been feeling okay. Days one through two were easy, though I had to watch it to “remember” I couldn’t eat certain things. Thankfully I love vegetables, so eating like a rabbit isn’t really unpleasant for me. However, today has been a little more dicey, as I started taking the detoxification capsules and shakes, and I’m feeling kind of run down and sluggish. Not to mention I’ve got some interesting stomach things going on, but as my handy little program guide tells me, these types of signals are all just signs that the program is working. Of course the few hardest days happen RIGHT WHEN OUR AIR CONDITIONER BREAKS AND IT’S GOING TO BE 104 DEGREES. Murphy’s law, right? Such is life…

So now that you know what’s up with me and my liver, tell me — have you ever tried a detox or a cleanse? What was it like? Did you experience any amazing after effects?