My terrible, horrible, no good very bad day.

Happy Friday, everybody! I’ve been in a little bit of a funk this last part of the week as on Tuesday I headed to the doctor to get my weight re-checked and my liver enzymes reported. (After the 10 day detox, I was supposed to lose 8-12 pounds and we were hoping for an improvement on the elevated liver enzymes from tests prior).

To summarize, to prepare for success I…

  • Followed a very strict 10-day medical grade cleanse and detox (And FYI I did not cheat once — didn’t think I’d have to make that claim… thanks to the butthead who suggested my tests came back because I “probably cheated”,)
  • Consistently took my metformin, the new insulin resistant drug I was placed on that was supposed to help with weight loss

My scale at home was showing a hopeful number — 12 pounds down. I even bought an old school, analog dial scale to confirm that everything was correct. Husband even cross-checked his weight, and it was right. So when I weighed in at the doctor, I was really, really shocked to hear that in the past six weeks, I had gained five pounds.

As I sat on the the exam table and tried to choke back tears, I discussed with my doctor how this was even possible. We moved on to the liver results, and they haven’t gotten any better, at all. So my difficult, expensive, horrendous detox? Didn’t work.

My new plan of action is eating 1,000 calories a day per my doctor, starting a new drug called Invokana, also for insulin resistance associated with my PCOS, and having a liver ultrasound to rule out any masses, lesions or inflammation. I’m not gonna lie, I’m having a hard time with this all. When your body is going rogue despite you trying everything you possibly can to make it better, it’s frustrating. I had eight vials of blood taken on Tuesday to re-check my low vitamin D levels and also re-examine my thryoid function, this time, looking at thyroid antibodies, which if off balance can indicate Hashimoto’s hypothyroidism.

I thought I had made it through the appointment without bursting into tears, but as I was put in to another exam room to have my blood drawn, my eyes started welling up. I thought I was off the hook until the doctor came in, took one look at me, asked if I was ok, and the great dam broke free. I was really embarrassed but she was super supportive and comforting and assured me we would work through this together. I’m grateful to have a doctor with wonderful bed side manner who’s willing to work with me to figure out what’s going on.

I’m sad, mad, frustrated, irritated, scared… you name it. I want so badly to be on the right track, to see the scale moving downwards rather than up. The only thing I can think of is maybe the lack of exercise during my detox (no cardio was allowed during the plan) might have contributed to a gain – but even so – a gain of five pounds? Something’s wrong.

I’ve talked about my awesome intuition before, and I know something’s up. If nothing is found this time, I’m going to keep looking. I feel that something is off, or not working the way it should be. Knowing about the PCOS is half of it, but I really feel there’s another factor at play. Until I know, I must wait, as patiently as I can, trying to be optimistic. But I’ll tell you – you really never acknowledge your health until it’s in jeopardy. Take a moment today and be grateful for your health because when it’s suddenly in flux, it’s not fun. At all.

I’m sorry if this post is a downer but I needed to keep you all updated. Do you have any advice for me for handling the “What if”‘s of the next few days?