Challenging defeat

The past few days have been more challenging than I would like: I’ve been surrounded by wonderful, delicious, very fattening food that I’ve indulged in more often than I’d like to admit, and I reaaaallly struggled working out over the weekend and tonight. Tonight was my second Krav Maga class with my awesome co-workers and friends. (I always say co-workers and friends because they’re definitely more than co-workers to me – these people are just a few at work that keep my chin up on CRAZY busy days. Thanks, Merrie, Shelley and Susan <3 )

I’m the type of person that likes to be able to do something well from the start. It’s a bad character trait to want to be successful at everything, and when I struggle I become defeated and have a tendency to want to quit quickly. Tonight, part of our warm up was doing forty sit ups. Our partner had to sit on our feet and hold down our knees – thank god my partner was Merrie and not the intimidatingly tall and buff dude I got partnered with last time.

Chubby kitteh doesn't need situps!

Not only did I have the giggles in the most terrible way, but I could not complete a damn sit up if my life depended on it. It’s always frustrating when you can’t do something just because you’re not naturally inclined to it – but failing in a physical way is more frustrating, because I know it’s a direct link to the bad habits I’ve made the past few years. It’s hard enough being “the fat kid” in the class – and when you can’t do something because of your size or weight, you feel a lot more vulnerable, a lot more pink and raw on the outside – like a hairless little hamster.

(That’s one of the weirdest analogies I’ve made in awhile, but I like it, so I’m keeping it in there. You know what I mean? Vulnerable, raw, exposed? Kind of just out there…. needing a little guidance).  In general, I’ve made it a point in my adult life to never let my weight hinder my lifestyle, but it’s times like this when I just CANNOT do something that I get really frustrated and start playing the blame game (Don’t worry – I’m the only player in that game). What I need to remember is something that I preach often to people around me who are trying to learn to cook, or who are new writers, or dabbling in social media – it all comes with practice, and time, and the worst thing that can happen is you mess up and try again.

I need to remember that all of the things I’m really good at are things that I have nurtured for a very long time – but they are still things that I have failed at before, and will likely fail at again in the future. We never seem to reach a point in life where we become foolproof, so why is a defeat so challenging to the soul? I need to remember that true success often comes with commitment, and if getting fit and I were in a relationship, we’d still be on our first few dates.

How do you motivate yourself when you’re feeling defeated?

*PS –  I was in the middle of writing this defeatist, vulnerable blog post when my husband plopped down beside me on the bed with a freshly baked gingersnap in his hand, still steaming from the oven, delicious ginger aroma wafting through the air – and says “Cookie?” with the most genuine, “it’s good!” expression on his face. HAHA – how life imitates art. (Don’t worry – I declined) 😉

*PPS – UM, 5 comments on the last blog? My heart is bursting with joy! So awesome! Thanks for reading to each and every one of you!! xoxo

Israeli Fighting Kicks My Arse

Have I mentioned my friend Merrie on here? Merrie is an amazing designer I work with who I work out with. She’s been a great inspiration to me as she works on her own fitness and health, and we (try to) work out a few times a week. As I get to know Merrie better I realize she’s what I call an “Adventurine”. How so, you ask? Well, Merrie likes to try new things. And when a Groupon popped up for four “Krav Maga“, or “Israeli Fighting Classes”, she was all over it. You could tell my other two co-workers and I were on the fence about it, but Merrie’s enthusiasm is contagious… and how bad could it be, right?

Hanging Punching Bags for Swift Agression Relief

I’m happy to say it was an arse-kicking and challenging workout, albeit one that totally took me out of my comfort zone in the best possible way. We arrived to the Thai style boxing studio and met our nice instructor, Brian. We filled out some forms (The line for weight? Yeah, mine said “2-much 😉 “) and then got ready to warm-up, with one other bad-ass looking girl and three dudes. First… we had to run in circles around the gym to warm up. RUN?! I haven’t run since 12th grade. (That’s a lie but for comedic effort just pretend it’s true). Fat girls don’t run. They bounce, and hope that a unicorn falls out of the sky to get them out of it. Thankfully, I was with my co-worker/friends (Merrie, Shelley and Susan), so I was a little less self-concious about being a slowpoke, since we’re all buddies.

"Million Dollar Baby" before she got her ass kicked.

After the running, we had to do sit ups… and push ups. The worst part was we had to be partnered with people… And we had to intertwine our legs and arms during the sit ups. So here I am, arms linked with a nice, 6’11 fellow, praying I don’t crack one off as I STRAAAAAAIN to hoist my upper body into some semblance of a “sit up”.  The warm-up was actually the worst part physically for me, just because I’m still a butterball and am not quite in “shape” yet. (AND, I know this is no excuse, but after my vacation and terrible chest cold, I hadn’t been to the gym in two weeks. So much for easing myself back into the routine…)

Sweat-drenched Alyssa and Ass-Kicking Instructor Brian

The actual fighting part was a lot of fun, and very informative. Our teacher Brian was endlessly patient with my obnoxious questions and groans of pain, and I can solidly say that dude can kick some major ass. The biggest challenge I had was to pay attention to my footwork and stance as it was a little bit different than what I’m used to in my kickboxing class. We have three more classes left, and I’m excited to see how it goes. It was really nice to step out of my comfort zone and try something new. When you have a weight problem, it can be intimidating to try something new that’s athletically or physically challenging. This was a great work-out with the added benefit of learning the art of self-defense.

When was the last time you got out of your comfort zone?