Medical Mysteries: Solved!

I’m sure you’ve all been waiting with bated breath for my medical test results to come back… so without further ado… I am diabetes and thyroid-problem free! I kinda knew in my heart that I’d probably be okay – and with that, my diagnosis is: obesity, slow metabolism, overactive imagination.

Because it was my lucky day, the doc also threw in a cholesterol test. My cholesterol is still in the good healthy level, but my triglycerides are creeping up a bit. With my steady diet of butter, bacon and cheese, I haven’t the slightest idea why! I jest, I jest. Kind of.

So! What’s the moral from this? The moral is – as always – that worrying gives small things big shadows. I need to learn to stop morphing these small things into giant, colossal boulders that I try to roll around in my head. However, I also need to stay focused on getting healthy, which means shedding these 40 extra pounds.

This weekend my sister is visiting me, and we’re going to start our day with a trip to exercise with Richard Simmons at Slimmons. It’s a good reminder that exercise CAN be fun if I’m doing the right kind – and it’s a perfect reminder for next week’s goal, which is to exercise at least three times. You keep me accountable, readers. Thank you <3

What’s your goal for next week?

Post-BBQ Bulge

Helo my lovely bloggies! I hope those of you in the states had a great long weekend, and those of you outside the states had an equally lovely weekend. After 7 hours in the car on the I-5 (flat, devoid of any scenery), I was happy to be home last night at 8 pm. We drove up Friday evening to Petaluma, where Matt and my parents live. (What’s the correct grammar for that? Matt and Mine? Matt and I’s? Our parents? Someone chime in – Amy, I’m lookin’ at you.) Friday was a stressful day at work, and as I had hoped I would not do, I was tired, bitchy and stressed out Friday night so I picked up a $5 Little Caesar’s pizza. That was the first not-so-health-concious choice of the weekend.

The I-5 in all of its flat glory.

Saturday, I had delicious thai food for lunch… and then Saturday night, my in-laws prepared a BBQ feast of artichoke crostini, cheese burgers with bacon and avocado,(so simple, and so yum!) corn on the cob, potato salad, and chili. Dessert was a big old slab of apple pie covered with vanilla ice cream. I didn’t gorge but I definitely ate more than I should have, and regretted it that night as my stomach felt like an over-blown balloon. I’m spoiled to have awesome cooks on both sides of my family – and we’re super lucky that as a married couple, our parents get along and we eat, vacation and hang out together 🙂

Sunday was where the real damage was done! The daytime was fine, as me, Matt, my siblings and their significant others went to Lake Sonoma. Matt and I had Subway sandwiches, BBQ potato chips, and Hornsby Hard Ciders, but it’s hard to pig out when you’re swimming and laying in the sun.

Water Babies in Lake Sonoma

We returned to another BBQ feast at my parent’s house – this time of smoked and brined tri-trip, smoked turkey, potato salad, pasta salad and baked beans. My mom makes incredible potato salad – tossed with sour cream and mayonnaise to make it ultra cool and creamy. A few chopped eggs and lots of crisp celery makes it a total comfort food treat – I definitely had seconds. Dessert was homemade cheesecake (amazing – with a sourcream top, made by my father-in-law, Mike) and creme brulee (delicious, with a crackly sugar top) made by my dad.

My mom's amazing potato salad

 

To add to that, a bottle of Gewurtztraminer was cracked open and my sister had a “Cheese – Off”, in which we all tasted and chose our favorites in a blind taste test of Wisconsin Cheese vs. California Cheese. (I’ll write about that later!)

So, as you can tell, the food choices of the weekend were not “diet friendly”, but they were “family friendly” and I had a great time seeing all my loved ones. My goal is to be back on plan and tracking this week, and try and squeeze in some gym time. I’m already behind on that goal since it’s Tuesday night and I’m doing homework and now I have class the next two nights…but… I’ll catch up. I will, I will. When life gets busy and the food around you is so tempting, how you do stay on track? (At least I swam all the way across the lake on Saturday! That was definitely good cardio!)

Weekly Weigh In #2

No trumpet fanfare this time. 🙁 Yup. I weighed in on Saturday and lost a massive…. .2 pound. Not even half of a pound. .2 of a pound. As Matt said, “That’s a fart.”

I ate healthy things like Greek salad this week.

I was pissed. Like “wailing on the punching bag so good that the teacher complimented on my super strong jabs in kickboxing class” pissed. I weigh in before my boxing class on Saturday mornings on my gym. I worked out and seethed about the fact that I tracked EVERYTHING, from the handful of Doritos to the dinner of nothing but popcorn the night I saw Harry Potter. I tracked the good, the bad, and the ugly, thanks to the little pop-up reminders on my iPhone. The temptation to cheat was strong, to lie and think that I really had 1.5 cups of pasta and track 1. But I knew cheating on tracking would only be cheating myself.

I love boxing.

How did I react to my lackluster weigh in? I ate. I pigged out. I didn’t track anything yesterday. I had an Indian dinner with my gal pals and we enjoyed a very rich meal. I scarfed a samosa, butter chicken, matar paneer, white rice, naan, a chai latte and a giant coconut frozen yogurt with dark chocolate chips. I did EXACTLY what I need to learn to avoid. I need to learn how to not let a small letdown turn into a big fat snowball avalanche of “Screw it, I’ve already messed up, might as well eat whatever I want.” Any tips?

I’m still disappointed about my lack of a loss but I think I’ve figured out what it could be. I tracked everything, and used my weekly points in addition to activity points. Even though I was within my points allotment, I made some bad choices this week, like salty, greasy things that didn’t pack as much of a punch as leafy greens or lean proteins would have. When I did lose weight on Weight Watchers the last time I tried it, I  didn’t usually use my flex points or activity points. I know my body just well enough to know that the tiniest little screw up can equal a disappointment at the scale. So next week, I’ll be measuring. I’ll be using the recipe builder. I’ll be staying away from the Doritos and movie theatre popcorn. I’m giving myself a fresh start tomorrow. I’m also going to step up my cardio, because I only made it to the gym twice last week.

I’m also going to avoid eating salty food the night before my weigh in. Because somewhere in the cavernous depths of my mind, I’d like to think that I really DID lose weight this week, but the loss was just… lost, among water retention and bloating. Next week, weight loss, you will be mine!!!!!!

***Please send prayers and thoughts to the families and victims of the Norway shooting, in addition to the families and victims of the Chinese train crash. Please also send healing thoughts for addicts around the world who are struggling like Amy Winehouse was. Even though her death was expected, a loss of  life is still profound and should be respected rather than ridiculed in its earliest moments.

The 3 Letter Word and What it Means to Me

Fat.
Three letters. So powerful.
Or is it?

I know the power of words. I use them everyday. I make a living from putting them together in pretty patterns. Words can save lives, hurt feelings, educate, make people laugh, make people cry, cause wars, invoke injury, death – you name it. A word is often times not just a word. The word “Fat” is a particularly interesting one because of its loaded meaning. As a little girl, fat was the worst word in the world. It was that thing you never wanted to be – the word that was whispered in hush tones, the ultimate failure, the sad word that caused bad eye contact and blushing cheeks. But now – fat is just fat to me. It’s a jiggly tummy, it’s the draping skin of my arm. It’s soft and plush and a place for my husband to rest his head. It’s yummy meal after yummy meal. It’s a part of me, and maybe one day it won’t be, but for now, fat is fat. I’m not going to let it have the power over me that it used to. There was worse things in life than being fat.

First Progress Picture - 48 pounds to go!

Some people disagree with me. That’s fine. It’s not their battle to fight. It’s mine – and for now, fat and I are kind of like acquaintances, neighbors. We’re not friends, but we live in the same neighborhood and we gotta make it work for the time being, ya know? We’ve known each other for a very long time.

That picture up there was taken a few minutes ago in my backyard. When I look at it I might think “fat”, but it’s not out of hatred. It’s just me. It’s 5 feet, 9 inches of strong, capable body, courageous and maternal heart, creative and powerful brain. I see a confident woman,  a happy woman, somebody who believes in the power of her brain and personality, and yes, even her good looks. I see me – happy, successful me, who’s graduated college with honors, married an awesome guy, started a wonderful career, and is working on making peace with her rambling and random mind.

So, I’m fat. So be it. Fat is fat. It is what it is, and I’m working on losing it to be a healther version of the Me that I already know and love. So I can have a family and keep up with ’em, so I can hike up a mountain overlooking the valley without huffing and puffing. So I can react to stressful situations without a scary spike in blood pressure, and so I can go on airplanes and roller coasters without fretting about a tight belt. So I can buy cute dresses and flattering swimsuits.

Fat is mean, scary, unfair, and unhealthy, but it’s also just fat. Three letters. Not so powerful to me, anymore.

What does fat mean to you?

 

Wacky Wednesday


I love me some outlandish claims, but really? “Eat Brownies, Get Muscles!” ? That’s a whole new ballpark. I think I’d rather “Eat French Fries, Get Skinny!”

While their trademarked tagline is ridiculous, you have to admit it’s intriguing, because most protein bars I’ve tasted taste like sawdust with sugarfree hot cocoa powder dusted on top.

PS Just looked up their website and they’re in the same town I live in. Irony!

I’ve been a bad, bad girl

Did you get the reference? You know, cuz that’s a Fiona Apple lyric? Ok, well, anyways…. I have been bad. Very bad. It all started with my sister coming down to visit. I don’t know what it is about visitors that makes me shed every decent habit I’ve acquired, but I PIG the eff out when I have guests in town. It started with the delicious breakfast I made on Saturday morning – scrambled eggs, bacon, pancakes. Then we went shopping in North Hollywood and had Chicago hot dogs with onion rings at Vicious Dogs . Then we used my groupon for Famous Cupcakes and I picked up a half a dozen of assorted butter-bombs of cake and frosting, including the Oreo Cookie cupcake.

Then we went home, laid around for a while, and ordered Big Mama and Papa’s pizza – one with fresh tomato and the other with pineapple and ham. One redbox trip later we were watching Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher have random sex in the movie No Strings Attached while stuffing our gullets with pizza. I opened a bottle of white zinfandel and drank one glass. And then another. And then one more. And then another. And then, I realized I was drunk, and the potato chips and sour cream and onion dip came out.

Intoxication + junk food = disgustingly awesome diet fail. I can’t blame it on the a-a-a-a-ah-alcohol (another song reference!! Did you get that one?). I have to be honest with myself that I have a problem with self control, and apparently a guest coming to visit is a special occasion for me and I go kookoo for cocoa puffs (or in this case, cookies n’ cream cupcakes.) I usually don’t eat that much junk food in a month combined, so you can bet my stomach has been a little gurgly today. Since I always try and find the positivity in something crummy, I feel like I gorged on so much crap that I really just feel like eating CLEAN the next week or so. I’m going to try to wean myself off of sugar and keep on the regular fitness. I could guilt trip myself pretty heavily about this, but I’m not going to. It was one day, and while I made bad choice after bad choice, life will go on and I will be okay.

What was the most sinful thing you ate this weekend? For me, it was the chips and dip!!