Hello Double Chinners! After last week’s tremendous loss, I struggled this week. Here’s why:
Amazing sugar cookies from my friend!
It wasn’t JUST the cookies, of course. It was spiced Morroccan lemon chicken, with a salty, creamy gravy, dotted with whole kalamata olives. It was a pile of soft, fluffy couscous, draped with thin slices of lamb. It was a steaming bowl of ramen soup, laden with piles of udon and half an egg. It was a breakfast quiche, served as we cruised the Marina at Matt’s annual work Christmas brunch, topped with brown cheese and freshly chopped spring onions. It was all of these things.
I’m feeling a little… chubby. But, my jeans still fit and my brain is still in the right place, after a temporary “whoops” of a weekend. It’s so tempting to just be like “Eff my diet! It’s the HOLIDAYS! EAT ALL THE THINGS!” but I know if I do that, every pound I’ve cried and obsessed over this year will come back to me… because there is nothing my fat loves more than to be with me. My fat and I have the worst co-dependent relationship in the world. It’s like that clingy boyfriend you never really got rid of in highschool, whom you dumped years ago but still “pokes” you on Facebook. I totally just want to be like, “It’s Christmas! Nom nom nom nom! Who needs pants that button anyways?” (Especially now that I work from home and a fancy getup for me involves gnome pajamas.) But, I can’t. I must stay strong. Fat and I don’t need to be attached at the hip.
Anyone else struggle to stay on track when the holidays roll around? What was your breaking point this year, if you had one? If you haven’t yet, how are you staying strong?
I’m a Taurus, which means I’m ruled by the need for luxury, comfort and exquisite taste. When you add a crazy appetite to those lusty traits, my eating gets out of hand fairly quickly.
Salad, cranberries, and COOKIES (Beer and Butter provided for photographic artistry)
Yes, right there by those beautiful handmade salads are trays of homemade oatmeal cookies, courtesy of my bake-happy husband. (And you should taste them, hot holy damn…) My salad was delicious, peppered with chunks of kalmata olives and juicy tomatoes, but give any fat person the choice between a salad and homemade cookies and it’s pretty certain which they’d pick. So, I’m trying to be good, and have only scarfed two of them so far. BUT- if Matt were to disappear and the angel on my shoulder took a bathroom break, you can bet you’d find me with crumbs on my lips and an empty tray in front of me. He’s making them for our grandparents and the wedding guest who gave us a Kitchenaid Stand Mixer, so most of them will vanish from the house by tomorrow morning, but still – TEMPTATION. The hedonistic side of me would rather suffer the torture of being fat than pass up a delicious homemade treat, and that’s why I need to work on my attitude.
A co-worker of mine reminds herself to stay in check with eating by saying “Candy won’t go out of business, Candy will be there next week if I need it, this isn’t the last time I’ll ever get to eat candy.” That motto kinda just doesn’t really work for me, cuz, uh, What if it’s NOT there next week?! What if I get hit by a bus tomorrow or lose my sense of taste? Yes, it certianly would be a tragedy should I die and sit on a cloud in heaven (or a chair in purgatory) and regret not eating just ONE MORE cookie. See? This is 25 years of f*ck-ed up psychology, people.
How do you keep yourself in check with temptation? I usually just give in.