Starting Over: A Clean Slate

Today, I struggled with a feeling that often surfaces — I saw a friend who’s lost an amazing amount of weight, and I instantly thought, “Why haven’t I done that?” I’m THRILLED for my friend, but it reminded me once again that I absolutely cannot compare myself to other people – as everybody is walking a completely different path in completely different shoes. However, recognizing other people’s success is always a good reminder of, “How I can try harder?” Here are the things I need to do to try harder: be kinder to myself, stop beating myself up in my head about my weight, drink more water, stop avoiding the scale, and curb the overeating.

With that, I’ve made a decision to start over. Here’s what I’m going to do: I’m restarting My Fitness Pal, at my current weight. I’ve been yo-yoing the past couple months, and who knows what from – muscle building, eating junk food, water retention, hormones, stress…. who knows! I’d been avoiding updating the weigh-in graph on the app, and for what? Because the number would bother me? Who cares – life goes on. I will start over. I’m starting fresh, with a clean slate, and it doesn’t matter how much weight I lost six months ago, or what weight I’m at today – what counts is that as of today, a new page has been turned. I need to track EVERYTHING on MyFitnessPal. Your support has been huge – I totally love seeing all of you stopping by the blog, writing comments to me, “liking” my updates. It really means a lot, and helps motivate me to keep trying. It’s also been awesome having April join in on the blog, because it reminds me that I’m never, ever alone, and someone with the very same blood and DNA as me shares the exact same struggles!

In addition, I’m going to start adding weekly weigh-ins again. We all know the scale and I have a mostly hateful relationship. However, I recognize that I need it to keep me in check. My first weigh in update will be posted on Friday, and I’m going to try reaaaaally hard to keep it up, because I need some more transparency about that number. I can’t disregard the amazing progress I’ve made so far, in particular, I’m thrilled at my transformation from out-of-shape to somewhat-fit. I look forward to getting stronger, better and faster, and am loving the new support system I have with my workout buddies Susannah, Merrie and Sally.

When you’re trying to change bad habits, do you ever find yourself just wanting to start over? It doesn’t need to be cold turkey, but it needs to be a marked point for me, where I say, “Ok, I’m starting over. I’m going to forget the past and just live in the present and focus on making a better future.”

Now – help me with my first starting over challenge. Next Thursday, I’m going to Mexico for a five day vacation. How do I log my food when I won’t have internet access? Should I go old-school and use a pen and paper, or try and trust myself without logging? Should I enjoy my vacay and eat what I want, but in moderation?

Viva La Mexico

I just returned from five days in sunny Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, where I toasted my 26th year with many delicious pina coladas!

Mmmm, creamy coconutty goodness!

As usual, I prefer the most fattening option – in this case, a sugary drink loaded with creamy, fatty coconut milk. I ate very well all week – homemade corn tortillas with burnt blisters on their surface, marinated arrachera steak, fresh guacamole mashed with key lime juice and chunks of ripe tomato… Even my birthday dessert was over the top – homemade churros, deep fried and dusted with vanilla scented sugar and cinnamon, dipped in caramel sauce. My birthday “Cake” was two wedges of tres leches cake, soft and spongy, coated with cream and speckled with a mixed berry coulis – the perfect tart and tang to the dense, rich cream.

I wish all birthday wishes were edible.

One of my favorite meals in Cabo is at Gordo Lele’s, which loosely translates to “Fat love” (an agenda I identify with here!). Javier, the owner, is a sweet man who makes amazing tacos (the beef is marinated in soy sauce and cayenne. Ay, papi!) and sings Beatles, Elvis and Frank Sinatra songs as people dine on their food. Even better is he pulls out tiny fake guitars and pianos and as he croons, pretends to rock out on the tiny instruments.

No, sir, I don't know how all those empty Pacificos got in the foreframe...

Here are some of his yummy tacos – and 15 pesos a piece, the slabs of avocado and homemade tortilla make it a total steal. (See the plastic bag? In poorer parts of the country, dishes are wrapped in plastic for hygiene and to avoid having to wash the plates too frequently. Sounds scary but makes sense).

So – as you can see above, I ate my way through Cabo San Lucas and enjoyed every minute of it; except, until, I got Montezuma’s revenge on the last day of my trip. Hey, the positive side to that? Five days of fatty boom boom eating = gone!

Lyssa, Javier and Matt - Thanks for the tacos!