Challenging defeat

The past few days have been more challenging than I would like: I’ve been surrounded by wonderful, delicious, very fattening food that I’ve indulged in more often than I’d like to admit, and I reaaaallly struggled working out over the weekend and tonight. Tonight was my second Krav Maga class with my awesome co-workers and friends. (I always say co-workers and friends because they’re definitely more than co-workers to me – these people are just a few at work that keep my chin up on CRAZY busy days. Thanks, Merrie, Shelley and Susan <3 )

I’m the type of person that likes to be able to do something well from the start. It’s a bad character trait to want to be successful at everything, and when I struggle I become defeated and have a tendency to want to quit quickly. Tonight, part of our warm up was doing forty sit ups. Our partner had to sit on our feet and hold down our knees – thank god my partner was Merrie and not the intimidatingly tall and buff dude I got partnered with last time.

Chubby kitteh doesn't need situps!

Not only did I have the giggles in the most terrible way, but I could not complete a damn sit up if my life depended on it. It’s always frustrating when you can’t do something just because you’re not naturally inclined to it – but failing in a physical way is more frustrating, because I know it’s a direct link to the bad habits I’ve made the past few years. It’s hard enough being “the fat kid” in the class – and when you can’t do something because of your size or weight, you feel a lot more vulnerable, a lot more pink and raw on the outside – like a hairless little hamster.

(That’s one of the weirdest analogies I’ve made in awhile, but I like it, so I’m keeping it in there. You know what I mean? Vulnerable, raw, exposed? Kind of just out there…. needing a little guidance). Β In general, I’ve made it a point in my adult life to never let my weight hinder my lifestyle, but it’s times like this when I just CANNOT do something that I get really frustrated and start playing the blame game (Don’t worry – I’m the only player in that game). What I need to remember is something that I preach often to people around me who are trying to learn to cook, or who are new writers, or dabbling in social media – it all comes with practice, and time, and the worst thing that can happen is you mess up and try again.

I need to remember that all of the things I’m really good at are things that I have nurtured for a very long time – but they are still things that I have failed at before, and will likely fail at again in the future. We never seem to reach a point in life where we become foolproof, so why is a defeat so challenging to the soul? I need to remember that true success often comes with commitment, and if getting fit and I were in a relationship, we’d still be on our first few dates.

How do you motivate yourself when you’re feeling defeated?

*PS – Β I was in the middle of writing this defeatist, vulnerable blog post when my husband plopped down beside me on the bed with a freshly baked gingersnap in his hand, still steaming from the oven, delicious ginger aroma wafting through the air – and says “Cookie?” with the most genuine, “it’s good!” expression on his face. HAHA – how life imitates art. (Don’t worry – I declined) πŸ˜‰

*PPS – UM, 5 comments on the last blog? My heart is bursting with joy! So awesome! Thanks for reading to each and every one of you!! xoxo


9 thoughts on “Challenging defeat

  1. When I’m feeling defeated I sit down and make a list (or statement) of all the reasons why I need to stick through it. With weight loss I just finally got tired of being so negative on myself that I just keep a list handy of why I want to reach my goal and remind myself of how far I’ve come.

    I also make sure to do something I’m extremely good at – like scrapbooking or cooking (something healthy) or a home improvement to remind myself that I don’t suck at life haha πŸ™‚ I don’t know why it helps but accomplishing something else always helps me stay on track with my weight loss.

  2. When I’m feeling defeated I sit down and make a list (or statement) of all the reasons why I need to stick through it. With weight loss I just finally got tired of being so negative on myself that I just keep a list handy of why I want to reach my goal and remind myself of how far I’ve come.

    I also make sure to do something I’m extremely good at – like scrapbooking or cooking (something healthy) or a home improvement to remind myself that I don’t suck at life haha πŸ™‚ I don’t know why it helps but accomplishing something else always helps me stay on track with my weight loss.

    • This is great advice…. thanks for the comment! Good way to back up the frustration with something positive.

  3. I allow myself little victories. And when I feel like utter poop, I remind myself of the little things I do every day to help me reach my goal.
    I take the stairs every day at work. Even when I am a pack mule and carrying a thousand pounds of crap- I take the stairs.
    I walk with Miss Kendall weekly. And if it looks like we can’t get it together [because life gets in the way], I make sure to throw in a 30 minute gym session to offset the lack of exercise.
    And I starting slowly with healthy cooking. But I allow myself my crap- otherwise I wouldn’t stick with it.
    But just remind yourself constantly of the little things- because a hundred little things add up to one big thing- your goals!

    Keep it up!

  4. I allow myself little victories. And when I feel like utter poop, I remind myself of the little things I do every day to help me reach my goal.
    I take the stairs every day at work. Even when I am a pack mule and carrying a thousand pounds of crap- I take the stairs.
    I walk with Miss Kendall weekly. And if it looks like we can’t get it together [because life gets in the way], I make sure to throw in a 30 minute gym session to offset the lack of exercise.
    And I starting slowly with healthy cooking. But I allow myself my crap- otherwise I wouldn’t stick with it.
    But just remind yourself constantly of the little things- because a hundred little things add up to one big thing- your goals!

    Keep it up!

  5. You have no idea how much I needed to read this today!!!! I am struggling with my own defeatist attitude, because I need to lose the 20 or so lbs I gained during this whole surgery debacle, and I’m quite ready to do so, but like you said…..I get angry when I can’t do something immediately, or if I don’t see results immediately. I worked out! I didn’t have any sugar for two days! I should have lost 5 lbs by now, right?? Er, now. I didn’t lose any. It just doesn’t work like that. So instead of resolving to work harder, faster…I get pissed and pout. πŸ™ It was nice for me to read that others get frustrated with progress and motivation (dude, I haven’t even been trying for long…and my stamina SUCKS, why am I so impatient??) and to just…read real posts like this! I needed it. And I have no advice. I’m like a hairless hamster, just sitting here feeling vulnerable. (I liked the analogy too) πŸ˜‰

    • HAHA Layla I’m the say way… I go to the gym and I swear three minutes after the workout, I’m like, AM I SKINNIER?!!! As if one session would melt away all the fat! Glad this post was comforting…. if there’s anything I love about the blogging world it’s that we are NOT alone!

  6. Oh Honey! Sit Ups are evil! You need to mention that these were the REAL old fashioned sit ups (where you have to sit ALL THE WAY UP, boobs to the knees type), not those little crunches that people usually do these days (and then call them sit ups). They were hard. But we are going to keep at it and kick booty! You also have to remember that the Krav Maga class is a guy exercise so totally going to be harder for us ladies, at first. πŸ™‚ Nevertheless, I think you kicked butt, I was there, I saw. πŸ™‚ well… when I wasn’t staring at our instructor… (blushing) πŸ™‚

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