My terrible, horrible, no good very bad day.

Happy Friday, everybody! I’ve been in a little bit of a funk this last part of the week as on Tuesday I headed to the doctor to get my weight re-checked and my liver enzymes reported. (After the 10 day detox, I was supposed to lose 8-12 pounds and we were hoping for an improvement on the elevated liver enzymes from tests prior).

To summarize, to prepare for success I…

  • Followed a very strict 10-day medical grade cleanse and detox (And FYI I did not cheat once — didn’t think I’d have to make that claim… thanks to the butthead who suggested my tests came back because I “probably cheated”,)
  • Consistently took my metformin, the new insulin resistant drug I was placed on that was supposed to help with weight loss

My scale at home was showing a hopeful number — 12 pounds down. I even bought an old school, analog dial scale to confirm that everything was correct. Husband even cross-checked his weight, and it was right. So when I weighed in at the doctor, I was really, really shocked to hear that in the past six weeks, I had gained five pounds.

As I sat on the the exam table and tried to choke back tears, I discussed with my doctor how this was even possible. We moved on to the liver results, and they haven’t gotten any better, at all. So my difficult, expensive, horrendous detox? Didn’t work.

My new plan of action is eating 1,000 calories a day per my doctor, starting a new drug called Invokana, also for insulin resistance associated with my PCOS, and having a liver ultrasound to rule out any masses, lesions or inflammation. I’m not gonna lie, I’m having a hard time with this all. When your body is going rogue despite you trying everything you possibly can to make it better, it’s frustrating. I had eight vials of blood taken on Tuesday to re-check my low vitamin D levels and also re-examine my thryoid function, this time, looking at thyroid antibodies, which if off balance can indicate Hashimoto’s hypothyroidism.

I thought I had made it through the appointment without bursting into tears, but as I was put in to another exam room to have my blood drawn, my eyes started welling up. I thought I was off the hook until the doctor came in, took one look at me, asked if I was ok, and the great dam broke free. I was really embarrassed but she was super supportive and comforting and assured me we would work through this together. I’m grateful to have a doctor with wonderful bed side manner who’s willing to work with me to figure out what’s going on.

I’m sad, mad, frustrated, irritated, scared… you name it. I want so badly to be on the right track, to see the scale moving downwards rather than up. The only thing I can think of is maybe the lack of exercise during my detox (no cardio was allowed during the plan) might have contributed to a gain – but even so – a gain of five pounds? Something’s wrong.

I’ve talked about my awesome intuition before, and I know something’s up. If nothing is found this time, I’m going to keep looking. I feel that something is off, or not working the way it should be. Knowing about the PCOS is half of it, but I really feel there’s another factor at play. Until I know, I must wait, as patiently as I can, trying to be optimistic. But I’ll tell you – you really never acknowledge your health until it’s in jeopardy. Take a moment today and be grateful for your health because when it’s suddenly in flux, it’s not fun. At all.

I’m sorry if this post is a downer but I needed to keep you all updated. Do you have any advice for me for handling the “What if”‘s of the next few days?


29 thoughts on “My terrible, horrible, no good very bad day.

  1. Big hugs!!! I am so sorry. I was amazed at how hard you worked to get through the cleanse. I hope you can fid some answers, and as I told Sam yesterday, in the meantime try to focus on the things that make you happy. Find to

  2. Stay away from google 😉 Similar thing happened to me when I started Metformin for PCOS. My liver test were terrible. I too had to have ultrasounds, testing. It was awful being told I might have a “mass on my liver” or an autoimmune liver disease. The ultrasound showed nothing & even showed that despite my weight, I did not have fatty liver disease like suspected. All test came back normal, except liver enzymes. I was sent to a GI specialist who took one look at everything & told me he had seen this before with patients on metformin. I was told to stop metformin & try not to lose more than 5lbs a month since rapid weight loss can also elevate liver enzymes. I had blood work done a month later & enzymes had gone, after 3 months being off metformin, they were back to normal. I know this may not be your case, but I wanted to share my story with you. Do your research, see if any meds or supplements could affect your liver. And keep up the good work…this is a bump in the road, don’t let it throw you off track.

    • Summer, thank you so much for sharing your story – it’s nice to know you know exactly what I’m dealing with. Maybe once I get a diagnosis we can trade notes??

      • Of course we can trade notes! I also have a wonky thyroid…it’s like my hormones have decided to do me in 🙂 Take care.

  3. Loved the title, Alexander and his day is a favorite book of one of my best-ies. It may not feel like enough because you are still looking for answers, but you are doing the brave thing, a lot of people would just pretend everything is OK, or will magically fix itself so they don’t have to deal with the scary reality in front of them.

    • Yayyyy you recognized the book! I love that book too, hence the title 🙂 Thank you. I do recognize I’m doing everything I can, and at the very least, that feels good!

  4. Oooohhhhhh no! I’m sorry. I’m so happy to hear that your doctors aren’t giving up. 1000 calories a day sounds miserable. I’m cheering for you.

  5. Girl. You know I know what you’re going through. It’s rough but at least we have each other to go to when it all gets to be too much.
    Remember to just keep pushing onward with the doctors until you get answers. And lean on us if and when you need them. Worst case, there’s always Fitbloggin’ Island on the horizon! 🙂
    I love you! Let me know if you need anything – even just an ear!

    • I love you too!!!! I’m so down for FitBloggin island, like now. How do we make this happen? So glad we have each other for support – the feeling is mutual. Anything you need, let me know! xo

  6. Hey girl, you are going to make it through this just fine. I know it for a fact with no doubt in my mind because that is just the way things are. You are amazing. And like I said before, maybe we need to slap your liver around a bit. A little slap seems to fix everything most of the time. 😉 Love you!

    • Shell it’s so weird that you just commented because I was just wondering if it was too early to call you – call you soon, thanks for your support! xo

  7. Oh god hon! Your post made me well up. I can feel your frustration through this post and I can’t stand reading it, so I can only imagine how much worse it must feel to go through it. The best thing I can come up with to say is that you’re not alone because all your friends and fans are right here going through it with you. Love you girl! I wish you better days soon!

  8. Hang in there! Sorry it’s such a funky road of frustrating and worrisome unknowns. 🙁 Glad you’re working with your doctor to push through it and find some answers.

    As for the 1,000 calories, do you have protein limitations? I just finished a 2-week bootcamp that came with a low-carb, (insanely) high protein meal plan and the protein really does fill you up. There were a couple of days I struggled to hit 1,000 calories (goal of 1,200) b/c the amount of protein I was consuming was keeping me so full. I am the queen of fresh fish from Costco … and I found a protein shake mix at Whole Foods that, when made with limited frozen berries and a Tbs of coconut oil, is palatable. (Still a lil’ chalky, but overall, palatable.) Lemme know if you want the names. (HUG!)

  9. Oh, sweetie! I’m so sorry you’re going through this!

    What I don’t get is the scale thing. I mean, even if your scale and the doctor’s office scale is off by 20 pounds (say), if your scale shows a loss, then that scale should show a loss (even if working with different weights).

    In any case, I can’t imagine how frustrating it is to work so hard, BE DOUBTED by a dumbass(!), AND have it not help you in any measurable way. I’m so sorry you’r going through this.

    You do have the non-scale victory of sticking to a horrid plan for 10 days without cheating. That’s pretty awesome, and it’s worth commendation! Hang in there, sister. Big hug from Richmond.

    • The scale thing is the WORST! I really don’t even understand how that’s possible. Then I checked at my gym, and it was 5 pounds less than the Dr.s, but still 7 more than the home one. SIGH. I think I’ll just use the doctor’s as the reliable one. Thank you for stopping by- I misssss you!

  10. I am so, so frustrated for you 🙁 I hope they are able to find something, but also that it’s easily treatable. I’m anxious to find out what’s going on with you! It’a amazing how things can click when you figure your body out, I know that will happen for you. Good work sticking with doctors’ orders throughout this process. And PS- I do NOT think their weight sounds right. I think maybe it’s not what you thought but definitely still a loss. Keep up the great work advocating for yourself my friend! I am proud of you!

  11. I was going to say what Tara did — the scale thing seems weird to me too.

    It has to be frustrating, hope the doctor can help you figure out a solution.

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