At this time tomorrow, I will not be enjoying air-popped popcorn as I am now…rather, I will be
bitchy and wanting to smack someone savoring the feeling of hunger as I fast in preparation for an early morning blood test. You see, I have a host of small but benign medical issues – environmental allergies, occasional stupid anxiety, weird skin sensitivities that flare up at random times, toe nail issues. I was at the doctor this week for a physical, and when questioning my diet and exercise plans, he started to ask me some small, seemingly non-threatning questions.
“Do you smoke?”
“Do you ever get cold hands or feet?”
“Do you get shaky if you don’t eat?”
“How about tension headaches?”
“I don’t want to worry you, but we’re going to order a thryoid, diabetes and lipids test. You never know what’s going on, and sometimes all of these small symptoms can be the cause of something easily treatable,” said Doctor.
LYSSA BRAIN – GO!!!! *Image of me lying on a hospital gurney, gaunt, bags under my eyes, holding hands with my loved ones, saying something hopefully poetic and meaningful in my last moments of life.*
“Either condition wouldn’t be a big deal, and it could be totally treatable. We’re going to check just to be safe and rule out any underlying triggers,” said Doctor.
At this point in my mind I’ve already been diagnosed with diabetes, high cholesterol, hyperthyroidism , and, apparently, some form of cancer that just cropped up from hearing about possibly having an easily treatable, un-fatal ailment. Yup. That’s how my brain works. It aint ideal, but it’s kinda funny. I’m the Queen of “What If” – a position I hope to step down from soon, thanks to clever books with weird titles like “Things might go terribly, horribly wrong”.
So this is all strange, because of course I don’t want either thyroid issues or diabetes, but it brought up an interesting question. WHAT IF all of these (see? there I go) random little ailments were part of one larger issue? Would that be better than having all these medical ankle-biters? It’d be cool to be liberated from random headaches and grass-induced hives and the occasional storms of anxiety that sweep through me like electricity – but it wouldn’t be cool to know I had a jacked-up thyroid or an inability to process insulin and sugar. (He’s less concerned about diabetes as I recently had a test for that and was fine – and yes, I spazzed out before that test, too.)
I’m trying not to get all worked up, because as talented as I am at spazzing, I need to learn to let that hobby go. I’ll head in Friday morning and probably have results on Monday, so in the meantime, I’ll cross my fingers that my blood is balanced and happy and red. As Dexter says, “Blood says so much”.
Have you ever been faced with a medical mystery? Are you the type of person who goes immediately to a doctor at the first sign of something wrong, or do you wait it out and see? If facing a potentially alarming diagnosis, do you suffer from “What If”-itis?