I farted in Bootcamp.

I farted in Boot Camp.

Today’s boot camp was KILLER. We kicked it into beast mode, running up and down the hill in the park, doing jump squats up and down the hill, and alternating with intervals of crab kicks. Crab kicks require you to get down on all fours, but facing up. You extend one leg out and KICK!

Those of you who read this blog regularly have probably picked up that I’m not shy to discuss some of the less “pretty” parts of exercise. I eat a really fruit and vegetable rich diet, and sometimes that means I’m a little more bilious than I’d like. As we were doing crab kicks, I extended my left leg out, kicking with fury! As my leg arched towards the sky, the unthinkable happened. I farted.

It was little, but loud enough to be heard. Thank god it wasn’t a thunder clapping rumbler, the kind that shocks you with its robustness. It was loud enough to immediately make some of the other bootcampers erupt into fits of laughter. I faced that split second decision of “Do I pretend nothing happened or do I fess up that I was the musician?” As we know, my mouth has no filter when it really should, and I immediately blurted out “Oh wow. I just farted!” The class continued to giggle and the instructor said “Don’t worry, we all backfire from time to time.”

I was embarrassed and laughing, but as the class carried on, I realized my barking spider didn’t have to ruin my work out. I continued my exercise with gusto, realizing that in over three years of dedicated fitness, this was the first time I’d let one slip. As I applauded my bum for its great self control, I realized how many “firsts” I’m still encountering as I became a fitness veteran – first fitness injury, first fitness fart. Time will only tell what’s next! (God help me.)

Have you ever tooted in an exercise class? Did anyone hear it?! I love Yoga and Pilates but find those classes especially challenging on days when a foul wind is blowing…I once took a community yoga class for several weeks and was shocked at how freely the farts flew from other people. It’s hard to reach a zen-like state when a butt trumpet blasts off next to you. But now, I feel more compassion for my farting fitness companions.

And there you have it… a fantastically farty TMI Friday.

PS: How many euphemisms for FART did I use in this post? I counted 7. What does your family call farts? My family has a phrase… “Horn works, try my lights!”

Fartily yours,

11 thoughts on “I farted in Bootcamp.

  1. Best. Blog. Ever.
    By the way, I have taken yoga classes at a few different places and without fail there is always a plethora of farts.
    Also, jumping jacks are always my flatulent weakness….

  2. Any kind of ab exercises and I am in danger. The worst is the time I accidentally spit in my trainers face when he was spotting me doing chest press. I will never be a classy lady!!

  3. omg, I am still laughing historically from your blog, you are definitely my daughter, I taught you how to do the ultimate fart, you get a A+ for this one! Yeah to Alyssa and her fartalina skills!!!!

  4. First of all, I’m embarrassed to say how long it’s been since I visited your blog – I love the redesign!!

    I farted once during a personal training session, but unlike you, I pretended it didn’t happen, although I’m sure my trainer heard it. It was just him and me, after all. Ugh. Not so coincidentally, that was our last session together.

    Bravo to you for coming clean with it and not letting it affect your workout.

  5. This is hilarious, in a good way! I like that you have no filter and that you didn’t let it ruin your workout! And then you blogged about it…keepin’ it real!

  6. Great job on just laughing it off, and points to the trainer for also using humor! I totally have farted during working out but at home. I can’t recall it ever happening in public!

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